Ocean Graves

A desert of our minds stretches far and wide in front of our eyes,

We’re searching for a sign as we march in this line, frozen in time,

We’re slowly dying with every step we take, the sand rising above our feet,

And as I fall in line once again, I see my breath in front of me, emotionless I can no longer be,

No one looks up anymore,

As they continue their march to the decaying shore,

Programmed to be a hybrid of a human being,

The code of our heart says,

“Today is the beginning of a new year,

So release every fear,

And let go of everything you hold dear,

And march to the sea,

It’s the only way to achieve everything you wish to be,

Walk into the ocean blue,

To become a new you,

And simply fall asleep,”

As we near the end of land,

And our graves lie just beyond the sand,

I hear a voice inside my head,

And I begin to ask myself the question,

Why I fall in line,  

I look up towards the graying sky,

And I begin to cry,

As the voice sounds once more,

“Don’t venture towards the shore,”

My mind begins to awaken,

And the blood rushes through me,

While I finally see,

Everything I need to be,

The expressionless marchers begin to fall into the endless void,

I break the line and the strangers in front of me begin to see,

As we all fall out of line and march our separate ways,

To the edge of time and the end of our days.

Author's Note

I tried to do something a bit different, hope you liked it. Please let me know your thoughts.

Reviews

[....................]

'a desert of our minds' - what a great opening line...the blind following the blind following those who know what they are doing...we have become a society of followers, heading to nowhere, with our heads down, like robots or soldiers marching willingly to their deaths...while you paint a picture that is parallel to so much in our world today, you also give us hope in your final lines...it is true: we have the power to look up and to change the course of our behaviour...we don't have to be mindless drones accepting what others tell us as truths...it is good to break these lines and become an example for the rest...i love where this piece can take the reader, Twiggy...well-done

[Emily]

Great idea for a poem!!
Keep it up!!

[Bear]

This is a good story, you should build on it and turn it into a full blown short and post it as such. It has drama, intrigue and emotional content just the right ingredients to create drama. Well done my friend :~)