Miles & Miles Away

I had a dream about EEE and DDD, I dreamt that they forgave me and became my “friends” again. 

I remember that feeling of waking up and expecting to go to my best friends house then realizing where I was, realizing I was 6000 miles away from her. 

They will never forgive me.

Maybe it’s because I am such a stubborn person.

I listen to The Night We Met remembering NNN, DDD and EEE, but I want to remember it as the song VVV and I danced to. 

VVV was always there for me, even for my up and down days, weeks, hours.

No matter what he would always sit and listen to me talk about what I needed to talk about. 

Yet for some reason I miss the people that were cruel to me more than I miss him.

He is my best friend, even if he is 6000 miles away. 

I would give anything for him to be here, so I could talk to him in person, so I could hug him or make fun of him.

I have so many things I want to tell him but I can’t because they are things I can only tell him in person.

I miss DDD, he was seemingly kind to me when the rest of the group weren’t. 

I don’t know if he is even alive, last I heard he attempted suicide. 

I hope he is alive.

I don’t know why I choose to become friends with messed up people. 

The girl that was psychotic, the boy that lived off of pringles and microwaved eggs, the boy that tried to kill himself, the boy with the severe anger issues.

But then again there’s me.