One Misspelling Intended

catching trains

Deferred. They say it's deferred 

if it's late. It's eight. It's supposed 

to be here by eight-thirty. Disposed.

Thirty minutes. But still it's 

such a short time. Bomb 

ticking louder than 

the train chime. Underneath's a mine.

A clockwork factory. Housing plenty

underneath the hierarchy. Referred.

To as the monarchy. The patriarchy.

The bourgeoisie. Whatever keeps

things from falling into anarchy.

Funny isn't it. The structures supposed

to maintain order. Yes indeed, indeed it

does. Maybe you can say that's all it

ever was. Keep things together,

keep the change. No room for improvisations.

I'd say no room for improvements.

But still everyday someone somewhere

is allotting for their rents. That's just my two

cents. Don't take me literally.

The point is we're all under control.

All under control. We just wait at our stations.

And eventually, where we're supposed to

beheaded. We'll get there. Yeah,

we'll get there. It's only eight.

Author's Note

How did the line cuts affect the way you read?
How was the flow or cadence?
What kind of voice do you think should this be read with? (Adjectives or a YouTuber or other people welcome.)
Were you satisfied with how it brushed against the surface of multiple societal issues?
What did you think of the pun? The title?

Soon to be on my FB page, Nook of Ruth.

Reviews

[...]

I like this play with words. Also hint of sense of humor and absurdity . Flow was okay . I think i will be try make longer and also put some real names from history or presence can make poem more interising. But that's just my opinion.

[DiskartetHaraya]

Thanks for the review and suggestion. Will think about it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i found it to remind me of how we get in a rut with our lives...the status quo...the same train every time...they are like clockwork, we are like clockwork, never deviating...and that is no life...

even emily dickinson felt rules were to be violated in writing even though her life was so hum drum, so the same every day, taking care of
"her father's house."

the bomb ticking beneath?

change.

[DiskartetHaraya]

Thank you for the kind review. Very wonderfully said. However much I set the poem against status quo, I did not realize that the bomb could be, indeed, be a symbolic impetus for change.

To be linked with another poet's life and writing, that makes art feel alive! Thank you.