The Ashes

For those of you familiar to the myth of a phoenix, I hope you get the significance of the chapter title. Enjoy.

Coming from an idiot like me, I don't really know where to begin. I want to say that I'm alright, but nonetheless, that's another lie that I swallow down my throat with unprescribed, honey-dew colored pills every morning. I guess I just keep hoping that she'll be there at my bedroom window and appear like an apparition; her auburn hair askew, a trail composed of mascara and tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks. And she would croak out "Jeff," and I'd trip over piles of unwashed, grungy looking clothes just to hold her. I'd give anything of course. To see her one more time. But not in pictures. Not in a f*****g DVD that I have to put in the damn television just to hear her voice and cradle myself again with my mom walking into the room with this half concerned, half agitated look on her face, saying "Honey what's wrong..." And then she'd attempt to take a closer step towards me and I'd utter "Go away..." through a flurry of emotions and snot. Have you ever loved a person so much that they became a part of you? Even if they didn't want you or if it was something altogether too unlikely to occur? It's like a tumor in your heart, the growth stemming from an addiction of a narcotic that everyone else you just so happen to know claims that they are quite certain can't identify to this drug that seems to only be available to you. And then one day the drug just stops being manufactured. Kaput. No more. Ceasing to exist. Except it isn't necessarily a drug that ceases to exist. A person, actually. And when it happens you play back all of these memories like a broken record, trying to salvage what you can, feverishly trying to collect all of your thoughts and write them all down in time. Or you just become apathetic to everything. Every light, every sound, every sight. Nothing matters anymore. It's just that I'm still trying to decide how I've managed to coincide with both. 

Reviews

[Zero_Edge88]

Existentialists have often wonder what it means to rise above yet they want to know how they could manage to live a life they question every single day. It's the consistency of it that bothers them even if they have someone to love them it craves their very existence or even to some extent their so-called extension called "soul" because of what they really raise themselves to be with. There is so much pondering to handle in this and it shows it with your work from when I read it - phoenixes aside.

Phoenix inside. - There I find to reason why the ashes is important for ashes are what makes the phoenix significant. For there is a life in there that died that disintegrated into ashes but somehow they coalesce into one. Therefore rising from its ashes a phoenix is born.

My thoughts - To the universal connection a person, a phoenix and their ashes all mean one thing to the stars - a speck. Tiny specks for as they come, they will go and into tiny specks they will be scattered. Reborn anew and created in the likeness of their own they will dissolve again! It's the constant revolution! Connected to the universe they brilliantly aligned themselves already and conspiring to the universe it has already laid out the plans for their own purpose again. Just like "The Ashes"

Have a good night and take care. :)

[A. H. Pinley]

A nice glimpse into the mind of this character. Will be reading on...

[ThoughtsofShyann]

You are very talented your writting is so raw and that is what I loved about it!

[L.Edward]

Down to earth, but in your face at the same time. I dig the train of thought style, really captures the head space of the character. Very well put together!

[Karl Woof Junior]

the harsher the pain the louder the laughs when you forget it

[Vile]

Lovely write. This is what I like to see, you establish the tone of the piece immediately and set a nice standard that is consistant through out the story. Well done. I like the voice of the narrator, it's almost self-loathing like and it just invokes an overwhelming saddness to the reader and allows them to understand and relate to the Narrator. Over all, quite well written, I look forward to more. :D

[RainDancer1997]

This is so sad and depressing:( But it's a great piece! So emotional and full of details. The title fits the story perfectly too. And it really touched my heart

[Knightingale]

You obviously have skill as a writer. Your metaphors aptly evoke the emotions of desperation and sorrow that is conveyed in this piece. If I have any recommendations, it would be on a technical level. Try breaking this up in paragraphs. It helps the reader's mind to pause and better soak in those brilliant metaphors and thoughts. Oh...btw, I love the chapter title. I hope to see him rise from these ashes and furthermore I'd love to learn more of this girl he speaks of. Keep it coming.

[Riding the Rainbow]

This piece touched my heart..I know perfectly the feeling of being complete with another person and that being without him(in my case) it's like being without a heart..
Mine can't come back..
I exist..
Nothing more..

[nihilistictablelamp]

I know the feeling well too, and I wrote it out of my own experience. I'm glad you took the time out to read it.

[Riding the Rainbow]

you're welcome..check on my material, too...