Entry Eight

October 14, 2010 - 10:53am

D****t!  I just got off the phone and was left with, “You know I love you, but I’m having a rough time right now.  I just need some time to find my way”.  She wasn’t saying she needs to move out, but she needs some time and space to she can process what’s going on within her right now.  When I began to ask what it was that difficult, she said she didn’t want to talk about it.  That is so damn frustrating for me because I can’t help or make any adjustments to assist in her finding her way during this difficult time.  All I want to do is help her for crying out loud.

 

Another very frustrating point in this situation is that I really felt there was some progress being made, even though there have been points where very obviously she has been disconnected.  But there are other times where I feel we are getting better and find our new normal.  Then this little bomb gets dropped on me and I can’t do anything about it.  Now my gut is all wrenched up and I want to talk about all of this until we get some resolution to what she’s going through right now.  Not knowing is freaking killing me right now, and I’m just hoping that I can refrain from trying to get her to open up by writing all of this down.  Although I don’t feel any better after putting all of this down, it’s making me twitch in helplessness.  Man this burns.