The Final Letter

I don't have any such experience, neither have heard of one. But I just felt like writing it

The click on the door made me turnaround from my desk. A rapid silence followed the closing of the door. By the time I realized what happened, she was far out and nowhere to be seen. The clock marked a little past two in the night and yet again I was not informed where she was headed to at this time. Neither did I get a chance to ask her so. Though that wouldn’t have yielded an answer for no reasons known to me, she doesn’t talk to me. Innumerable and desperate attempts to strike a conversation have fallen in vein. As a matter of fact it seems that she doesn’t even acknowledge my presence. I still couldn’t let her go, at least not now. Just a few days or moments more with her is all I needed. But she was to be searched for nowhere and I waited for her to come back and then my eyes fell on the calendar.

 “Our relationship, my sweetheart, had been strange and yet we have maintained it for 17 years together without the slightest change.

Your birth is affixed in my memory. Perhaps, it is the fondest memory I ever could have. An early monsoon night with every nook of the streets afresh, rejuvenated trees and overwhelmed people. After all it was a much needed downpour. I locked myself in my study sticking a “do-not-disturb” note on the door; I was doing nothing though except that I was high on a few pegs and was enjoying solitude. Repeated loud bangs on the door irritated me but I responded to them. There she was, your mother, almost bending over her belly with one hand under it. “It’s a strange pain” �" she mumbled. I took her by the arms and reached to our car. Strapping her with the seat belt I assured her that everything was going to be fine. “Hold on for a few minutes more” �" I said and she responded with a blinking smile. I was speeding but I had no choice either.

The wait outside the OT was short but anxious. I have moved through every position a man could sit at in just half an hour, which to me though seemed like eternity. And then, I held you in my hands for the first time �" a little life wrapped in a towel, palms clutched and wide open eyes. I looked at you for a few minutes and then looked at the doctor who stood with his eyes straight on me. I was about to enquire about your mother but before I could I heard him say “I am sorry”.

My world parted at that very moment �" a part of me was gone with her and the other remained to take care of you. I promised to be the best father but I know I deprived you of a mother’s care. I never talked about her because you never asked me. In fact you never talked to me.

But apart from bringing you up just like I wanted and in the best possible way I could, I also have preserved something for you. On you birthday every year, I wrote you a letter describing your mother. I also did write to her on the same occasion speaking of you. I meant to give you those letters on your 18^th birthday and then let you go forever.

As I see the calendar now, I wish I had seen it a couple of hours ago. At midnight today you turned 18 but before I could fulfill my wish you left. This last letter to you will remain with me for the rest of my life, undelivered, just like the others because I do not have your address. I never did.

Now that you have left forever, I want to tell you that I am sorry. I shouldn’t have driven by myself that day as I was intoxicated. If I didn’t, your mother would have reached the hospital safely and I would have written the truth about your birth. Had I called a cab that day, you would have talked to me, you would have grown up with a mother’s affection and I would have raised a real you as I wanted rather than bringing up an imaginary daughter and depend on a self-made story for so long to prove the existence of a daughter that I always wished for.

I wish I could rewind the years and bring you back. But the only thing that I can do now is to think of a life if I had not been careless that day.”

 

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Avinash]

Brilliant Dipanjan. Keeps you on edges. Like any good story the best comes at last. Line 6 you may correct in vein to in vain. Thanks for penning it down. You can be a great script writer. You are able to create ambience with your words. Not everyone is capable of that.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Great work.
Loved the construction and revealing.
Amazing story!
I loved it!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!
:)

[Mila]

This was composed nicely and I loved your use of language. The main thing that popped out to me in this was that you used a few (not a lot) fragments (unfinished sentences) where there didn't need to be any. A lot of times, authors will use fragments, of sorts, when dramatizing a scene or trying to prove a point. I know I do that sometimes in my own books when I want to add a little more depth, and it's a great crutch to have in your arsenal for those sorts of times. Of course, there are many times when using fragments can work against you. They can appear out of place and, often, they'll break the flow of your writing. Your writing here has a GREAT flow to it, but when a fragment came out of nowhere, it broke the flow, which isn't something you want to happen.
"Neither did I get a chance to ask her so." (example)

Also, be wary of starting your sentences with "but". It's not necessarily a wrong thing to do but, when not used properly, it can seem like it's wrong.

All in all, this was very poignant and well written. I enjoyed it very much and I would like to read more of your work. Your vocabulary is awesome, and the way you convey your works and phrases does well to portray the emotions in your words.

-Mila

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Mila,

Thanks a lot for a detailed review. That is definitely helpful.

As of the fragments, yeah I have a habit of using them often. I understand your point(s) and would keep them in mind surely. I am glad you liked my work.

-Dipanjan