The Lost Innocence

I slept in the rain,

the snow didn't wake me up,

the rash wind couldn't blow me off. 

No movements did I indulge in with the thunderstorms. 

I remain unmoved for years gone by,

And for more of them to come; 

I wasn't dead, neither am I now...

I just have lost the innocence of my left big toe.

Author's Note

What do you think? Be honest and merciless..

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

You have a way of painting the soul with your words... the moods and melody of dark and light. Just the thought of lost innocence makes my heart ache in a world so lost already.

[gameoverman]

im glad your writing more poetry
i didnt.quite get what that last bit was
but that is whats great about it
i can always come back to it and think about it as always your imagery is awesome
so great write keep it up

[Jamsheed Shafi]

nice.
it was a funny thing .
liked it a lot.

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Thanks mate

[Pushkar Prabhat]

ha ha ha..................very clever!!!
it made me dig deep and deeper........i found something, but that was a trick!
amazing wordplay!
i loved it!!!
:)
waiting to be amazed again but it's upto your right big toe, i guess!!

[Dipanjan Dutta]

thanks for the review.…

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!!! :) :)

[Avanthika]

Intrigued by your poem. Certain pains leave you stock still , I guess the left toe pain was one of a kind. I liked the theme.

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Thanks Avanthika...glad you got the metaphor

[hardeep sabharwal]

I was reading and in the end I smiled automatically, it was a find read though,
good job mate

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Thanks mate

[AprilRN1210]

you had me up until "toe".. then I didn't know whether to start laughing or start looking deeper.. it was like this intense captivation that kept drawing me deeper and deeper and then at the end, dropped me down hard.. BOOM!.. then I go back to the title, re-read the piece and am left here scratching my head.. would love to hear thoughts as writing this.. very intriguing and was affecting for sure.. well done..

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Thanks April for a vivid review...now the thought as Avinash asked me too with his review....it was simple...it came from a blind thinking that sometimes it happens such that I/we could not move even an inch and remain still though we are not dead then...could be under a crowded shed in the rain or could be from dizziness out of medication for some illness...and then just had to play with the words and the way to point out the stillness yet living....that's what came out then...

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome.. thank you for sharing that with me.. just had me stumped with the big toe ending.. (no pun intended)

[Dipanjan Dutta]

It was just like may be a pain in that toe that has left me numb and I can't move ...a metaphor

[AprilRN1210]

nicely done.. I was thinking that..

[Avinash]

I am really curious to know how you did that... ? An intelligent work like most of yours.

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Hey Avinash...thanks for the review and nice words mate...

[M.A.Rathore]

In the first three stanzas the matter goes straighly descrbing how what you felt while sleeping I t was miraculously "willing suspension of disbelief" and then there comes a twist. The mystic creation becomes turning to be more supernatural when your big toe feels innocence. Nice one.

[Dipanjan Dutta]

Thanks M.A. for a nice review

[M.A.Rathore]

Welcome always..