not in doubt

I was listening to music in the shower then when I had got out these words just smacked me across the head lol . Had to write them as fast as I could before I lost my track of thought .

Pessimism not in doubt
W things you live w out
Planning my future
On the betterment of my education
Slowly waiting as a patient
In this lobby
Of the free land
As a free man ..
Morally ambiguous
With genuine ambitions
If you don't understand you think these big words make a difference
Pierced by doubt
And things I live without
Sleeping in the valley
7 years of drought
7 years of pain
7 years of suffering
Cried his name on the mountain top, hope it wasn't in vein .