1000 Ways to Die

Reflecting upon death and all the possible ways one could die. Natural and unnatural

I started a journey with tarot cards in winter of 2021. My grandpa had died and I had no clue. But I had this overwhelming feeling that a message was trying to be sent over to me through supernatural means.

At the time, I didn't trust in the super natural realm. More so psychology, the scientific method, and maybe, Buddhism? I was a hurt girl, feeling like there was no such thing as miracles. And there was no source out there greater than your own will power.

My family was a complex one. We were divided due to different ideals on how children should be raised. Some believed in corporal punishment, others believed in non violence. Some were into hard drugs, others never so much as has a drink of wine..but the children, the children were always the ones to suffer from the divisiveness.

We were the ones shipped away and isolated from the rest, left to the likes of either dictators or enablers. Sometimes both if you were "lucky". Is it a surprise that things would worsen once my grandfather died?

I'm not sure what he left behind. I had been estranged from my family for 2 years around that time. I didn't get my mother's emails about his passing. I didn't get to say goodbye. It weighs heavy on mind still. I miss him drastically. But little did I know that his death would be the catalyst that would bring me closer to my own.

I've never been one to like asking for help. I never understood why. Or maybe I do. Because "help"gets you trapped in strange living spaces with people who have no intentions of letting you go. "Help" gets you shacked up with addicts in active addiction who steal from you and slander your name. Or if you're "lucky".. "help" gets you caught up in the system. Or shelters, with staff that seem to already know your name upon walking through the doors. Staff that seems to be playing a sick game. Because they feel that no one else will ever know your name. I wonder how it was for Marilyn to grow up in orphanages. Anything ran by the state is subject to cruelty and hidden discretion. And when they realize they can't get you overtly, they try to mess with your sleep.

Tarot wasn't the way for me. Though it was a nice experience. I was able to get "help" while in a dark place. Running from family violence, shacked up in a little hotel as I figured out if I would be a whistle blower, or just stay on the run forever. Before I could make up my mind, they made it up for me..and eventually, I realized that I was considered an enemy to my own blood. For trying to protect children, of all things?

Or maybe due to some unknown money likely attached to my name? All I know, is that when grandpa died, nothing was ever the same. But as I sit, hopping state to state, looking for a safe place that doesn't seem to want me dead, I can tell you what ive learned about my probable death.

If I die before my time, it likely wasnt a suicide. Or a mysterious disease. Or the reemergence of a certain virus. Or a freak car accident. It was likely some sort of corruption. Falsified documents. People covering their footsteps. Or people wanting me to be quiet.

If God wanted me quiet, he wouldn't encourage me to write this. Oh, and before I forget..my connection with him has been amazing lately. I don't even understand how he brought me home to him.i was lost, I strayed far and wide. I got into the esoteric and they thought I was a witch.They thought a lot of negative things about me. Never once asking if it were true. They just assumed things from a distance, and took affirmative action in groups.

And the more resilient I stand, the more they round up their troops. And it becomes a how to get away with Murder plot. No, it's not mental illness. No, it's not suicidal ideation. No, it's not tied to a pandemic. No it's not tied to an overdose or too much alcohol. No, it's not paranoia or hysteria. It's tied to greed and human indecency.

Reviews

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Dear Dina, I really like the title "1000 Ways to Die."
The Tarot scares me. It is morbid.
But at the same time it is a pertinent to my curiosity of a game.
I love it. Great beginning. I'm curious to see what comes next.
:DS ----Maynard.

[Arundass TP]

Life goes on and on Our life is effected by various external factors. As your story, all are moulded by circumstances that others creates. Politicians are real villains to scatter smooth flow of life. Good work 👍

[Dina]

I think villains are just victims that are afraid to be victimized again. At least that's the conclusion I formed when lost in thought today (: