Fears of Rejection

Chapter 33

My mother returns with Dr. Leolios. He seems a bi distracted as he goes over my profile a bit before engaging. My mother makes her way to the seat while he continues to stand at the door, skimming through the details of my case. 

Finally, he makes way into the room.

"Diana, how's it going?" He speaks urgently, but with brevity. 

"I apologize for keeping you waiting. It's been pretty busy in the ER department lately. How you feeling today?

"I'm okay Doctor. I'm guessing my mom relayed the message?"

"Uh, yes. So I'm looking at your file here. There are a few tests I still haven't done yet. But I can have you conduct them over in PT if you'd prefer a sooner discharge. How does that sound?"

My eyes widen as I straighten up my posture.

"Uh that would be great! How soon?"

"Well, I can have you meet with an in house Physiatrist tomorrow. Then we should be clear to have you discharged by Wednesday. How does that sound?"

"Wow, you would do that? I mean it sounds amazing!"

He smiles before looking over the folder once more. Making sure not to miss any detail. 

"Okay then, I will have a triage nurse follow up with you by the end of the night and we'll have you meet with the Doctor, say, midmorning tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure!" I struggle to hide my excitement, slightly embarrassed by my burst of enthusiasm.

My mother notices my angst and rubs my leg, as if to calm me down. 

"Good, it's a deal then." The Dr. puts his folder down beneath his arm before flashing a final smile. He looks towards both of my parents and gives each of them a firm nod before bidding adieu. 

"Keruvim family, it has been a pleasure working with you all. Diana, you've made astounding progress. I expect nothing but success in regards to your recovery. If anything feels off or you begin to experience any numbing or tingling sensations in the body, please do not hesitate to check yourself in. You have practically became family to us here at Mount Sinai."

"Thank you Doctor." My parents look relieved. 

"Oh Dr., any news on that Dr.'s note for work?" My dad seems to be preparing to return to reality. The Dr. doesn't seem the least bit surprised.

"Yes Sir, I'll have the nurse include it in Diana's discharge packet. A representative from financial aid will be reaching out by phone between tomorrow and Wednesday to walk you through the rest of the process."

"Yes Sir, thank you again!" My father exclaims. My mother rolls her eyes, slightly embarrassed. She realizes how much of a financial strain this has been on my father. He never liked it when money was tight. 

The Dr. smiles once more before stepping out and returning to his busy schedule. 

My parents look back towards my direction before bombarding me with affection.

"Isn't this exciting honey? You've worked so hard." My mother brushes my hair back. "I'm so proud of you my love. You've always been a fighter!"

My father places a hand on my knee. "Yup, I'm proud of you mama. I think you may officially be more bad a*s than me!" He teases. I roll my eyes in attempt to fight back tears. I hate that I've worried my parents so much. I also hate how sensitive they can be at times. Emotional vulnerability is not a strong suit. 

"That reminds me." My mom reaches in her bag to pull out what seems like a movie. "I brought our favorite." She models the movie as she shakes it side to side like a dj remixing a record. "Home Alone!"

"Aw, Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animals!" My dad impersonates. He never admits it, but he probably loves the movie more than any of us. He sits back into his seat submissively, like a child waiting for a snack, doing his best to mask his assignment. My mother shakes her head as she proceeds to slide the disk into the DVD player.

"Who even uses disks anymore?"

"Don't blame me honey, blame these old fashioned hospital TV's."

My mother struggles to figure out how to work the player.

"It's been a while since I used one of these."

"You got it babe?"

"Yeah babe! At least give me a chance to figure it out first!" My mom has always had and independent streak. She's always believed that she could do anything a man could and more. I've always admired that about her. 

As my parents put their heads together in order to solve the mystery of the timeless movie box, I notice that Damon has messaged back. I click on his message. He seems to be online and has updated his profile picture. This time, he is standing around a Fraternity, smiling with a beer in hand.

"Nice! You're gonna have to show me your skills then! Maybe sometime this week?"

I tuck my hair behind my ear. charmed, but incredibly nervous now that I realize that he is typically everything I wouldn't go for. An assertive jock with seemingly no awkward bone in his body. The response comes easily to me.

"Only if you promise to go easy on me. I'm practically crippled at this point."

He responds almost immediately. "Crippled? No way! Tell me the story over text?"

He officially meets the criteria of any and everything under the sun I would consider to be a red flag. But the dullness of my daily routine has lessened my standards a bit. I glance up and notice my parents talking amongst each other, they've moved on to family matters. I scoff before retuning my focus back on to Damon. With hesitancy, I decide to share my number.

"347-222-7575"

 

He reads the message before logging offline almost immediately. I grow anxious, questioning if I did something wrong. Perhaps I seemed too easy. I slam a pillow into my face before letting out a soft wail. My parents grow silent as I can hear them shift their bodies toward my direction.

"Hun?"

"Fine, I'm fine!" I claim, while sinking deeper into the bed and creating a pillow fortress for privacy. My mother returns her attention back to the DVD player when the movie suddenly begins to play. 

"I did it!" She shouts. I can feel her jumping up and down.

"Good job baby!" My dad smacks her on the butt. I groan, as my mother lets out a girlish giggle before returning to her seat. She taps her hand on my thigh a few times to check in, I groan and look away. She leaves me for a bit.

As my parents attempt to distract themselves in the movie, I look out into the window. Observing the luminous field stretching for what seems like miles. I feel disappointment begin to creep in. The self doubt becomes borderline impossible to ignore, when a whisper makes an unexpected appearance. 

"Stupid girl! Silly girl! Fool!" I hear. Thought the words are but a whisper, they are sharp enough to leave a sting. I tuck my knees to my chest, doing my best not to react.