The Plutonian Relationship

My temper was inherited from a frightening man who protected his family by threatening every last misbehavior with a spanking. 

Discipline replenished the vision.

I'm an artist, and I steal my grandfathers paint brushes in  hopes of getting in contact with our ancestors. 

A line full of shamans, light workers, and healers and yet we cannot manage to cease the cycle of trauma.

Psychodramas developed from incest and sexual abuse. Poverty and financial misuse. 

All the circumstances that attracted me to you.

And you felt familiar, maybe because your moon was in cancer which matched the sun of my grandfather.  

And your emotionality complemented my promiscuity.

All that you'd do to me, mr. scorpio, was inherently evil. 

And those handcuffs you liked so much played a bigger role than either of us would've imagined. 

My freedom was a threat to you. So you only took interest in controlling me.

Withholding me from my own truth. 

And staring into my eyes was too much of a mirror to you, so you liked me face down for sake of minimal bruising. 

But each night, I grew lower and lower. 

Drowning intuition through bottles. 

Blunts to cloud the knowingness that followed.

We crept in the night where nothing good follows. 

Running from class to Quinnipaic harbor to get my quick fix.

Sauteing the vibe with talks of politics. 

Who knew what would happen next.

Drunken arguing, matching the strangers on the next bench.

Moods fluctuating, low tides commencing.

I try to lighten the mood and pull on your head wear. 

There's a stare.

Suddenly fear creeps in. 

I guess I wasn't supposed to see what was under.

Too much vulnerability for you.

What a way to make a woman question her self worth. 

Author's Note

Drake type Beat-"Sanctuary"

Reviews

[Karen Redburn]

This is the hard reality of sexual abuse and its root causes. You have expressed it very well. I pray for that cycle to be broken once and for all. I know here in Canada we are doing are best to heal past wounds, and make amends. I hope it helps, I really do. Good write my friend!