Voices

A sestina that i wrote about schizophrenia.

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD
THEY TALK TO ME, THEY UNDERSTAND
PEOPLE TRY TO HELP ME
I WONT GET RID OF MY FRIENDS
SOMETIMES THEY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DIEING
BUT I HAVE NEVER ATTEMPTED

TO DIE, I LOCK MY DOOR IN A ATTEMPT
SO I CAN GET CLOSER TO THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
ANYONE WHO ENTERS WILL DIE
TALKING TO THEY IN A BLACK ABYSS WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING
ALONE, JUST ME AND MY UNTRUSTING FRIENDS
THIS IS WHERE IM FREE, JUST ME

THE COUNTRY, THE WORLD, THE UNIVERSE ALL AGAINST ME
I WANTED TO LEAVE BUT I FAILED IN MY ATTEMPT
STABBING ME THROUGH THE INSIDE OUT BY MY MANIPULATING FRIENDS
THERE VOICES AS BOMBS EXPLODING IN MY HEAD
I CAN’T GET HELP, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS
THE BRUTALITY OF THERE SOUND, HANGING MY SANITY FOR DEAD

MY BODY IS A MOSAIC, FILLED WITH COLORS OF DEATH
BROKEN PIECES FILLED IN TO COMPLETE ME
SPELLING OUT THE WORDS “DO YOU UNDERSTAND”
NOTHING MAKES SENSE TO ME ANYMORE, I ATTEMPT
TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER IN MY HEAD
BUT NOTHING COULD GET BETWEEN ME AND MY FRIENDS

I CANT TRUST ANYONE, NOT EVEN MY FRIENDS
THERE PUSHING ME TO THE POINT WHERE I WANT TO DIE
I JUST WANT TO MELT MY HEAD
AND LEAVE THE REST OF ME
FOR THE WIND TO TAKE, BUT THAT ATTEMPT
WAS A FAILURE, I DONT UNDERSTAND

WHY I CANT UNDERSTAND
THAT THE VOICES WHO I CAN TRUST, MY FRIENDS
ARE NOTHING TO ME, THEY ATTEMPT
TO TAKE EVERY THING FROM ME AND LEAVE ME FOR DEAD
I SHOULD OF LISTENED TO THE DOCTORS WHEN THEY TOLD ME
THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG INSIDE MY HEAD

I CAN’T GET RIDE OF MY FRIENDS, THEY WONT DIE
NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES ON IN MY HEAD
SO BURN ME AWAY, IN A ATTEMPT FOR A NEW LIFE

Author's Note

The first two lines are from the song voices - by rev theory. enjoy!

Reviews

[Nicole]

Writing it in all caps was gutsy, but very effective. It portrays the chaos even before you begin reading the poem. It shows how just as some people are thwarted and frightened of someone because they don't understand their condition, so too someone might be intimidated to read this because the impact is so blatant. Good work. Very impressive.

[Kiara]

This is a really sad thing to imagine, but I liked the stanza when you said your body was a mosaic filled with colors of death. It really showed me how you felt.