Broken

Well my absence of writing lately has been due to the fact that i had no emotion to write with because i had blocked all of it out to stop from letting in the one i didn't want, heres why.

She’s crazy,
I swear,
she’s trying to break my neck,
and when she f***s me
its like she’s writing a check,
systematic and carefully,
but quickly and vividly.
And I wonder every night,
“does she really love me.”
And when im with her,
“will she remember my name”
walking home the next day,
trying to deal with the shame,
puffing on cigarette,
and wondering,
why she aint got the heart to leave me yet.

And im tired,
of saving you from you dad,
but I cant just stop                 
cause it breaks my heart,
when you look sad while im f*****g you,
and so I play I my part,
and stop crying,
while im just talking,
And I’d love to pretend I just used her,
or that I abused her,
and that I wasn’t afraid to lose her,
but then I’d be lying.

And I did not know,
that this club aint exclusive,
and even though the trip is all inclusive,
you didn’t try to keep away the thoughts that were intrusive,
like Taylor,
that f**k,
sitting tired in your bed,
and I’ll try to cover up that pain with the words that were said,
like “love”,
I wonder if you thought of that during or around,
the time he was inside you,
and what about my picture on the night-stand right beside you
I didn’t even know that when I told I really loved you,
that ten minutes earlier,
he had just fucked you.

You broke me,
and now I’m trying to break you.
As if when I was with you,
I was just trying to f**k with you,
you stupid b***h,
I f*****g loved you.

Author's Note

Say whatever you want.

Reviews

[Cardinal Robin]

"systematic and carefully,
but quickly and vividly."

Nice word juxtaposition, and sense...

"why she aint got the hear to leave me yet."

Ironic choice dilemma...

"of saving you from you dad,"

Wildly slingshots me into WTF...


"I didn't even know that when I told I really loved you,
that ten minutes earlier,
he had just fucked you."

Okayyyy it is a mindfreak! OOOOOOOWWWWCH! Holy crap dude! I mean I know this is all too common but you told the reality Bro..."white" people can't take it! LOL LMFAO!


"and I'll try to cover up that pain with the words that were said,
like "love",
I wonder if you thought of that during or around,
the time he was inside you,"

(okayyyy, does mindfreaking count as XXX?)

"you stupid b***h,
I f*****g loved you."

Yeah Bro I feel you Man....suuuuuuuccckkksss, I have the same thing with a first cousin, for REAL, and we never consummated it, and her Hubby, just as they were re-kindling their OG Love, He was felled by the Tree he was Felling...Instant death...and how she sobbed when she shared with me her true heart...
Then again, I guess I shared LOVE with her at last in this exchange...while you still can't reach across and touch your LOVE no matter how much anyone "F's" her...Sorry Bro *ahhhrrrgghhhh* Man that just blows for you ...
Much Love, You are approaching the writes of Immortality! keep it up, honesty, perhaps especially when gritty, has great Panache and Zest for LIFE!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

This touches me as painfully sad. A beautiful write from your heart. The pain is felt so is the love. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Caitlin]

I'm so jealous of your writing style. Do you realize how good this is? Like seriously, do you?? This has so much emotion in it and it's so gritty and interesting and I love that you write about these kinds of situations. This is so awesome. I don't know what else to say besides that I really hope to write like this soon because the raw emotion and anger and frustration and honesty with your words is amazing...Keep it up...you truly know how to write. (My favorite part is probably the last part...the last six lines...good choice of words as they all seem to fit in really well together and the flow of those lines is absolutely perfect!)