Deep

Drowning in deep green sea

Chain leafs clutching hands

with my every flee move

Monster with blood teeth

laughs holding his fry pan

Should i rest numb now?

Can moon be seen from here?

Or a morning i should wait for?

Reviews

[barleygirl]

What I love most about your poem -- imagery is so unexpected & thought-provoking. I get the feeling that being in "this deep" is not a good thing. Or maybe it's like jumping in & feeling overwhelmed momentarily, but then getting oriented among all the bubbles & strangling kelp leaves. I love this: "chain leafs clutching hands" which goes with your artwork to create a strong visual in the reader's mind. Thing I don't like about your poem -- "frying pan" -- too manmade for deep sea, when the rest of your imagery is taken from nature. I also love your last 2 lines, like a desperate grasp toward the surface, when a person feels they are in deep (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Lorry]

I like the position of your words against the picture. The photo could be seen as a calm, pleasurable scene, but perhaps there is things lurking in the reeds, or being caught in them yourself. Like a calming dream that without warning turns into a nightmare. Has a feel of lucid dreaming to me. Knowing you are dreaming but unable to wake, waiting for morning or death to arrive.

[Karmee]

deep and dark, much enjoyed this