WHAT WOULD IT TAKE

What is it that

rain can not wash clean.

Towering mountain

Dry river bed

Forest trees to green again

Long cries of a town

My skin,

Inside and out.

..

And if even rain can not,

What would it take

To scrape you out of me?

To unlove this love?

Reviews

[(gone)]

I find the introspection very interesting especially when it is a physical rain to remove something abstract, unless the rain symbolizes an internal emotion such as sadness, depression or a reaction like tears.
I like to think that acceptance of that love you seek unlove, will be a way to wash it :-)

Thank you for sharing!

[Vin]

Do rain wash it clean? or do they make it messier? I have alsway stumbled upon this thought.

BTW I loved this. Keep flying

[barleygirl]

The way your thinking presents itself is the best part about this poem. I love the idea of rain washing things clean & you use many vivid examples to show instead of tell, then your poem takes a humanistic twist (V2) into the romantic aspects of being washed clean of one's futile love longings. I love the harsh sound of this: "scrape you out of me" . . . and your ending is a strong questioning idea, even tho stated so simply "unlove this love"! (we all recognize it's nearly impossible to unlove ANY kind of love!) The only thing I want to encourage you to do is to use more interesting imagery. You present great examples, but the words you use are pretty dry & dull: "dry river bed" . . . "forest trees to green again" . . . you could change just one word & make these more vibrant or dynamic descriptions . . . example: "parched river bed" . . . or "ignite the forest to brilliance again" . . . Of course you would come up with your own ideas, not mine, but this is just to give some ideas. It's not unusual for those who speak English as a second language to forget to pick more interesting words, since you do not have as many words of English in your minds to choose from. I use a thesaurus all the time to remind myself of different unusual interesting words to try! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank your for the review and suggestions Margie. I agree with what you are saying about my word selection. I just rush to post it as soon as i write so.. thank you so much for this.

[barleygirl]

Most writers do that rushing thing, becuz it's so fun to get the interaction of other writers responding to your work. For me, the manicuring is just as much fun becuz I love words & finding new words & trying different words . . .

[Unspoken poet]

WOW! Such strong emotions here, this is so good, I enjoyed this write

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank you for reading

[Fairy Khan]

Well written.
The emotions feel strong and the love feels real and passionate. Keep up the good work.

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank you Khurshid

[Karmee]

tangled up in emotions in this one. Well written and presented.

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank you Kitseth

[Feel@trap]

A good mix of hurt & love

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank you so much

[poetgurl]

i can feel the emotion through out this write, this is so well expressed. I enjoyed this write.

[Digvijay Singh]

Thanks for the read Kimmie

[Chris Shaw]

That sort of hurt takes time. I think many would wish that a heavy rain would erase all thought and feeling of someone they have loved or love. An expressive and well crafted poem. All good wishes.

Chris

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank you Anne

[Kelly Scheppers]

"...to unlove this love..."

Your words leap from the screen and into the heart of this reader. Again, you captivate!

[Digvijay Singh]

Thank you Kelly