The Penguin Who Lost All Hope

I'm trying to go Dr. Seuss style... all rhymes. That's right, this story rhymes all the way through. Warning Contains content that might be unethical and (unintentionally) insulting to some viewers.

The Penguin Who Lost All Hope

There once was a penguin who lost all hope; to get better, he smoked some dope. Then he relized that he had nothing to lose; then he started drinking booze. He saw that selling drugs was such a breeze, people get desperate and fall to their knee's. Ziinus, the penguin, was selling left and right; he never imagined being a drug dealer, it was tight. His biggest seller was definitely hash; it made up for 33% of all his cash. Another big hit was his homemade coke, however, it was more common to the city folk. Ziinus's drugs were becoming the talk of the metropolis , but when the fuzz found out, they were furious. They found his stash and arrested him; Ziinus, being cunning, threw the guilt on Old Jim. They knocked on his door and Jim went to see what was the matter; as soon as he opened it, they threw Jim into the slammer. Ziinus then thought, "they found my stash. At least they didn't find my cash." Ric, the penguin, was very very mad; he asked Ziinus why he did what he had. Ziinus, being in an unsafe ambiance , turned to Ric and resorted to violence. Ziinus didn't know that Ric was a kung-fu master; what he thought would be an easy fight, turn into a disaster. Don't you ever fight and get the clue that peoples looks can always deceive you. After the quick and painfull fight with Ric, Ziinus the penguin felt very sick. He tried to hurt his best friend forever; the two of them may never get back together. He wanted to start from scratch and do the right thing; he would need a real job like at the Hamburger Swing. He went to Hamburger Swing and they were hiring. It turned out that the burger-flippers were just retiring. Ziinus went in and applied for the job; he made it because he was neat, he was not a slob. There were many problems with slobs these days; they would be greedy and ask for a raise. To you, this may seem very innocent, but they did it every day and it was constant. Thier attitude was also very cruel; they always wanted to make you look like a fool. Anyways, back to the story; I don't want you to get too discrimitory. He started his job on the following Monday; he began to notice the food wasn't gormet. He complained about this stuff to his boss; his boss just said, "This is albatross. Beef right now is very expensive. No one has complained, so it musn't be pensive." Ziinus saw the flare in his bosses eyes; questioning him more would not be wise. So, he kept flipping burgers untill the end of his shift, then he went outside and ran into a forklift. Ziinus, in need of a car, took the forklift home; he pimped it out and painted it chrome. The next morning he took it it to work; he parked his ride, but was stopped by a mysterious clerk. "How much is this thing to you?" "Hey! You can't tell me what to do!" "You better watch real carefully what you say." "Why should I?" "I'm a member of the N.S.A." "I don't believe you. Stop messing with me" "Give me your keys on the count of three. One" "Don't talk to me like I'm your son" "Two." "Geez, you sound like you're shooting an interview." "Three. What are you, a banshee?" The man pulled out a rectangle from his pocket, and sure enough, it was his wallet. Ziinus looked over at the display; he looked in the wallet, which showed "N.S.A". Ziinus lost it, "You gotta be joking!" "You though it was a lie? How provoking. But since I'm in such a good mood, hand me the keys and I won't make a feud." Ziinus didn't want another fight, so he gave up the keys and ran out of sight.The next day, Ziinus told his boss what had transpired, but he wouldn't listen because Ziinus got fired! He said, "I didn't see you here. You always seem like you want to disappear. Since I can never ever seem to trust you, I'm giving your job over to Betty Sue." Within twenty-four hours, Ziinus lost everything; it came as quickly and painfully as a bumble bee sting. After this, he felt his life was on the brink; he wanted to change, so he called a shrink. If he wanted help, he needed cash; too bad he spent it on a load of hash. By this time Ziinus was feeling blue; to escape his problems, he stole a canoe. He took the canoe out into the sea; never knowing where he would be. He rowed and rowed until he couldn't anymore; he never knew rowing was such a chore. The exausted Ziinus finally landed on land; He had passed out and didn't know he was on sand. I finally woke up at the sound of a beep; he looked around and saw a red jeep. He looked in the jeep and saw someone slim; he counld't believe the person was Old Jim! Ziinus asked Jim, "why are you here?"; Jim just said, "looking at raindeer". Sure enough, Ziinus looked to the ground; He saw raindeer dancing all around. Ziinus was scared out of his mind; he took some drugs and terpintine. The deadly mix should have killed him in the end; the moral of this story, drugs are not your friend. You may have thought this story is done; little do you know, this story has begun. Ziinus just woke up after what seemed like years; he observed his surroundings and noticed lots of gears. He realized that he was in the grand clock tower; he won't get wet from any kind of shower. He was desperate, to the brink of no more hope; once again, he wanted to smoke some dope. But something in his head made him think; conscience and desires were fighting in a rink. His coma left him extremely tired; he wondered who got him up here, they should be fired. All of a sudden, noise flew up the stairs; there was nothing to hide him, except for some chairs. He hid behind the chairs, making sure not to be found; a huge man entered the room, not buff, but round. Ziinus wanted to laugh at the sight, but the man's face filled him with fright. Ziinus quietly went for the door; he more noise than a windy sea shore. The man heard Ziinus make his hefty retreat; Ziinus, being clumsy, fell to the mans feet. Ziinus looked up to the mans glare; staring at his face was like living a nightmare. The man told Ziinus that he was wanted by Dr. Ratsout; Ziinus didn't know what he was talking about. By the looks of his face, Ziinus hadn't understood; the man had to explained as best as he could. The doc has reconsidered his way; he scheduled an apointment for today! Ziinus was overjoyed by this thought; however, something made him feel distrought. There was a thought in Ziinus's little penguin head; a thought that his mom once said. "If you start smoking dope like a stupid garden gnome, don't bother coming back to our wonderful home". Despite those harsh words that came from his mother; supporting his change was his honorable brother. With his brother's cash support, Ziinus met the doc. Ziinus and Ratsout met at nine o' clock. Ziinus and Ratsout talked for an hour; what Ratsout said to Ziinus had lots of power. "If you want to stop drug use and anything stupid, you must find love and have a talk with Cupid". On that note, Ziinus left with a sprint; he wanted a relationship, not long, but stint. But then Ziinus thought about Ratsout's word; he needed one thing, a keyboard. Ziinus finally started on his quest; he went online to do a dating test. It took awhile, but he came to success; the girl that he was going to meet was a penguin named Lexus. They decided to meet a Sam Man's Bar; this would be the best date ever, by far. He waited and waited, but she didn't show up; then the door opened and his only thought was "woah". The cutest penguin in the world was here; his feelings were calm, removed of fear. "Are you Ziinus?" she simply said; humina humnia humina was all that was in his head. "Yes I am," he managed to reply; "Your very cute, have you had a guy? Well, what I meant to say was have you ever gone out before? I haven't because it seemed like such a chore." "It may seem like a chore right now, but it will pay off someday, somehow". Ziinus really admired Lexus's thought; then there was something he hadn't caught. "Have you ever been to a shrink? It sounds like it, but that's just what I think." Just as he said it, he knew he shouldn't have asked; he could tell if she was blushing, her make-up was like a mask. "Why do you ask?" she had to say. "Why don't you just ask me about my day" "You sound like my old shrink, Runksted; he's the guy that drives a green moped." "I did see him once, to tell you the truth. He is crazy, a mad man with one tooth. He also told me that he was a spy. It was said that he was a member of the FBI." "I didn't know that" Ziinus studdered; his mind was going haywire and thoughts were getting all clustered. He was asking her something when his phone started to buzz; he answered and he knew, it was the fuzz! "We caught you selling dope, you are under arrest. Stay where you are or we'll send out our best". Ziinus was scared out of his little penguin head; he turned to Lexus and this is what he said, "Lexus, I know that we've only just met, but let's go to Canada, I have a private jet." "I like Canada, but I prefer the Swiss. What's your logical reason behind this?" "The fuzz is looking, I'm a wanted criminal; I want you to go, please don't be cynical." The way that he said it, it must have been perfect because she told him something he didn't expect. "Your a wanted fugitive just like me. If we stay together, we'll live in harmony!" This caught Ziinus completely by suprise. Them living together must definitely her surmise . "Are you sure you want to go?" he questioned. "Yes, of course. We were born for transgression" . The two new lovebirds drove straight to the airport, but the gaurd stopped them because they didn't have a passport. "Stop! You two can't go in there. Get a passport or go elsewhere." Lexus yelled, "Look, a robber is running way! He stole a purse and is messing with the communications array!" It must have been luck for her to have said that; a man of that description was running off with a purse and hat. "Stop you thief, You're under arrest. You'd better come now without protest!" The gaurd ran off and left the two standing alone , so they went on board before the plane had flown. They took the seats that were in the back, The guards didn't spot them because they were shrouded in black. It was only twenty minutes into the flight and Ziinus was starving. The waiter said, " You must wait. The turkey is getting its carving." Thirty minutes later and the turkey was finally done, Ziinus asked for turkey, but the preperation had just begun. Lexus, being hungry, asked the steward why; the steward heard the question and this was his reply, "The Chef is doing his best, don't make him get hasty. Do you want a turkey that isn't tasty?" Ziinus and Lexus both went to sleep, but they were suddenly awoken by a sirening beep. "People, people we are going to crash. Get a parachute, they should be by the trash. The co-pilot and I, we did agree that we will be crashing somewhere in Germany." There were screams and yells in every which way; Ziinus and Lexus knew they couldn't stay. They went to the trash and tied on the parachutes; they needed each other for their plan to execute. They ran very quickly to the emergency door; the screaming and yelling they would have to ignore. They jumped out the door, but heard someone call their names; they looked back at the plane, but it burst into flames. The lovebirds were saddned by the horrible sight, but then they looked down and their faces filled with fright. Ziinus was scared, from the plane he fell; he is a penguin so he can't fly well. He held Lexus and she held him; if the parachutes didn't go, their survival would be slim. The two fell hard on their steep decline; they were hurt a lot, so they used some anodyne . They finally felt better and so they went and walked, but they suddenly felt as if they were being stalked. Lexus looked around and saw a huge bear; To see this kind was very, very rare. Lexus yelped, her body filled with fear; it was so loud a deaf man could hear. You should have seen the look on that bear's face; her scream was like some kind of ear mace. The bear booked it and ran out of sight; after that sound, it didn't want to fight. After the encounter, they walked quite a ways; they ended up walking for several days. They finally made it to a town called Berlin; Ziinus heard it was famous for its home-brewed gin. The two love birds walked into a bar; they sat and saw a man who might be a Czar. The man was thin and had nice apparel; his hat was large but face wasn't sterile. The two lovebirds asked, "why are you here?"; he then replied, " to see the premier". The two were confused, "premier for what?" "What really happened to King Tut."