Excellent poem. I was directed to your poem by ilnymhorrim after he read my poem "Tiny Geometries" (http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rpuetter/448007/), which is a physics-based poem. My poem focuses, however, only on the mysteries of Nature. Your's uses the subatomic realm as a metaphor for relationships, and that is very nice. Beautifuly done. And it is true there is nothing solid, or perhaps I would say immutable, because in physics there are things that might be considered "solid" (electrons, quarks), even though that's a classical, human-based term which really doesn't carry over in full force to anything in the subatomic world.
Excellent poem. I was directed to your poem by ilnymhorrim after he read my poem "Tiny Geometries" (http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rpuetter/448007/), which is a physics-based poem. My poem focuses, however, only on the mysteries of Nature. Your's uses the subatomic realm as a metaphor for relationships, and that is very nice. Beautifuly done. And it is true there is nothing solid, or perhaps I would say immutable, because in physics there are things that might be considered "solid" (electrons, quarks), even though that's a classical, human-based term which really doesn't carry over in full force to anything in the subatomic world.
I guess you could call me an existentialist, (for the most part), and this summed up a lot of my feelings about both relationships and existence as a whole. That we each cling so vehemently to out ego's and our physical daily 'needs' is a foolish way to look at the world and causes so much pointless misery for so many.
I don't mean to get too deep about it all, but I think the duality of the poem warrants a great deal of thought. It's like you've set parameters to polarised extremes and offered the reader the middle ground to freely explore. I don't know how intentional that was, but it seems obvious to me to build from macro to micro theory and then back again to see what I might have missed within the myriad of metaphoric possibility. On a more literal level I envisaged a relationship where one wants more than the other, or perhaps a story obsession, where the very fabric of the relationship is placed under such scrutiny that it crumbles- analogous with subatomic particles.
I read: Nothing is solid- nothing is forever- nothing is destined or fated to be. Many people find the concept of a none determined future, (in life and relationships), really frightening whereas others find it liberating, the combination of these two mentalities in one partnership can often be disasterous, (I'm speaking from experience). Great write anyway- it's nice to meet you and thanks for your reviews of my words, cheers, spence
This is a very unique poem. I like the use of dialogue at the top and the use of scientific terms made it far different from many of the poems that I have read. The concept of nothing is solid is so true in any and all parts of our lives. Great write!
I am blown away that you chose this topic for a poem - and that it worked so well. This is an instant favorite because the subject has always kind of freaked me out. Atomic... subatomic... where does it end? Also, it makes for such rich metaphor. This is right up there with my all time favs (instant Facebook share)!
It looks as if you have put human relationships, "under a microscope", so to speak.
Well, the line, "nothing is solid" is repeated for emphasis, and understandably so. Overall, this poem seems to be reminding the reader, that even the most succesful loving relationship, will have some weaknesses or cracks. In other words, she is using this line to say, "nothing is perfect", so to speak.
The poem seems to become more scientific, quite suddenly? In addition, like the numerous particles of the cosmos, we are also, "Caught in the invisible lattice of time", as the writer puts it.
"Particles linked subatomically". I suspect, that this could be another way of saying, that our minds are linked subconsciously. This seems slightly spiritual in tone? Quite a contrast, to the "cold" scientific process of thinking?
Interestingly, this poem is also filled with opposites. What I mean is, for some words, the opposite perspective is described. For example, "hollowed" and "full". To a degree, this writing also asks the reader, to re-think his/her perception of our importance in the greater scheme of things.
Now, as a poem, this does not flow smoothly by any means. Furthermore, the rhyme scheme is not very effective. However, I am aware that the scientific theme of this piece, means that the poet may well have been constrained by the need to include scientific terms?
Thankyou, Dianah! What do the rest of you make, of this thought-provoking poem? Yet another worthy addition to my Group, "Twilight's Disciples"! Who will be next, to add some writing?
I write , mainly poetry, about anything and everything. I have written song lyrics and seem to be addicted to rhyming. I hate writing blurbs for blogs as I never know what to say...
I often confuse.. more..
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