15. Goodbye

Chapter Fifteen JJ

 

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 As we return to the Kingdom, everyone is excited to see their loved ones. But I return feeling with loss. Raven is dead and I feel darkened inside. How can I tell his mother? 

When we enter the Kingdom people are throwing flowers and cheering, soldiers run to there wives and families, as I continue towards the Palace. I entered the palace gates and Raven's mother was there. 

" Welcome back Jessie! Oh how excited the kingdoms are that we won this war!! There will be a grand dinner for the soldiers and their families!" Her Majesty announces with excitement 

" Your Majesty I-" I begin

" Where is my son? I cannot wait to see him!" She says with a smile 

" He... Raven... Was killed by a giant..." I stammer 

She gasps and lifts her hand to her mouth. " No... It cannot be true, he-he cannot be dead!!!" She falls to her knees and cries. 

Her handmaids come to her side and escort her to her bedchamber. I felt like my life was frozen. Raven's death affected many people. His mother the most.

 What would I do now? Should I stay here? Or go back home? My sister and grandparents must be worried sick about me. But how can I just turn my back on these people and Raven's mother when there in need the most. 

They had no one to rule them now. I didn't know what to do. I walked out onto the palace steps and looked out into the kingdom. I could hear loud cheers still going on. Music was playing. A commoners celebration with the soldiers. 

I thought about the families and friends who would never see there son, friend, brother, husband, lover, ever again. This must be how they feel. Heart broken, like there frozen in time, knowing that they will never again see that person in this life again. 

Losing someone is the most terrible thing to feel. Thinking about never seeing Raven's eyes again, hearing his voice, it just made me sick to my stomach. I sit on the steps and put my head in my hands. 

Oh my god, this feeling is killing me! I feel so sick at the thought of this! I continue to think of Raven's name in my head, of seeing him happy and alive. Memories flood over me of our old home and new. 

Would this pain ever fade? At least a little? I just wanted to fade away myself, join Raven in Heaven, not worry about never seeing him again. 

I looked up into the sky, imagining seeing Raven's beautiful face there. Heaven received the most handsome angel ever. Wait, would they accept Raven after killing? After suicide attempts? They had to! He was a good person and would never kill someone else without a reason like this. 

I thought about his sister and his parents back home. They're probably already thinking he's dead. It's been so long since we disappeared. Prom would be here in less than a week. Was anyone at school worried about us still? Or were they ever worried. 

Were our faces on milk bottles and on the news? Posters still around the province? Were the police and search parties still out there for us? What about my sister? What is she thinking about what I told her? Has she told everyone what I said about Raven and I HAVING to leave but not saying why? 

I need a miracle right now. A miracle that can bring Raven back to me. I'd give up anything to have him alive, even give up my own life. I need Raven with me. 

I stand up and walk down the palace steps, avoiding the joyful people.  I talk to the man leading the carriage about taking Raven's body to a special place and he allows me.

(listen to Rue's Lullaby)

I mount the horse and ride out through the streets and out into the forest. Looking around for the spot we once went to together, a beautiful flower field. I rounded a corner and found it through the trees. I lead the carriage through. 

When I got past the rest of trees opening to the field and got off the horse and carefully take the glass and gold coffin out of the carriage and take it to the middle of the field. 

I open the lid and look at Raven's face. He has such a peaceful look. His hands perfectly crossed over his chest. I pull out his sword from the carriage and place it under his hands. 

I kneel down and look down at the ground. Tears roll down my cheeks. I can't believe he's dead. It doesn't seem possible... We were supposed to be together forever... If only I could take his place in death instead... Everyone would be better off with him and not me. 

I rose myself to my knees and watched Raven's calm, still face. As tears flowed down my cheeks. I rested my head on my arms on the edge of the coffin. 

" Raven... Why couldn't I have gotten to you sooner? Then this wouldn't of happened..."  

I stayed like this for hours. The sun began to set. I got up and picked some flowers from the forest and set white flowers around his body and his favorite red rose ontop of his sword under his hands. 

When I was done I just looked down at him. I bent down and kissed him one last time. 

" I will never love anyone else but you Raven Porter." I say 

Another tear runs down my face and lands on Raven's lips. I had to continue on in his place. I'd try to be him. I knew I wouldn't be able to help his mother like that, but perhaps I could become the king in Raven's place. I'd rule with the mind of Raven to make everyone happy. 

 I promise you Raven, I'll make this kingdom happy and I will always mention you, forever and always our love shall bind us. I turn to go and feels something brush against my wrist. 

I quickly whip around to Raven again and to  see his beautiful eyes looking up at me. Tears come to my eyes once again. 

" Please, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up..." I say, keeping my eyes focused on him 

" He reaches out to me. "It's not a dream. Jesus sent me back to you. He told me it wasn't my time and I had to be with you still." He told me 

I fell to my knees again and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my neck. He's here, God sent him back to me! I will never ask for anything ever again!!! 

" Oh Raven, everyone will be so happy, your mother was heart broken." I explain 

We sits up and we got to the carriage and horse. Both mounting the horse we make haste to the kingdom. He tells everyone what happened and then we go up to the palace. 

" Oh thank the God's! Raven!!! Jessie said you died!?" His mother exclaimed 

He nods. " I did, but God told me I had to come back." 

His mother hugged him tight, crying with joy. The Palace people were overjoyed to. The kingdom had their new king. That night at the feast, everyone was having a wonderful time. I could tell the air was happier because Raven was still with us. 

The party was in full swing for three days. Two days until prom. That night at our bedchamber I decided to talk to Raven about it. 

" Rave, can we talk?" I ask, taking a seat next to him 

He turned towards me. " Okay." 

(listen to I Just Fall In Love by Angeline Quinto)

" So, prom is in two days. I was thinking we should go back to our old home until graduation. See our sisters, you other mom and dad."

 He looks at me a little shocked, but then smiles. 

" And go to prom TOGETHER? As a real couple would do?" He asks me 

I nod. " As a real couple, slow dance together and not care what everyone else says. Just completely ignore them from now on. Then after we graduate, we come back here." I say 

Raven smiles bigger and hugs me. " I'd love to do that!" 

I kiss him. Pushing him down onto the bed. Raven, how happy I am for you to be here with me. The night is cool and our warm bodies burn together. Together... Forever... 

I slip his shirt off over his head and then mine. I missed him so much during the time of battle to. I run my hand down his slender body, and he let's out a breath of relief. It's different from the first time. From our first time it seems he build up between the time we didn't do this. 

" Mmmm..." He lets out a short moan of pleasure

I continue kissing him. The cool breeze that blows into the room ruffles his hair around, flopping over his left eye. I push the hair away staring into his eyes. He blushes hard and covers his face. 

" Why are you embarrassed this time?" I ask with a laugh 

" Because of the way you give me that sexy look..." He murmurs 

I laugh and kiss him again again. I'll love him forever. My love won't ever die. I'll fall inlove with him over and over again. Every time our lips touch. I hope he loves me like I love him. 

" JJ..." 

" Hmmm?" 

" I love you so much. You mean the entire world to me. You ARE my world." He whispers 

" And your my world." I reply 

The love between us fills the night air everywhere. No one loves him more than I do. This love will last. 

" Forever."