No better than the rest

I am not the best,

no better than the rest.

Even in this fest,

I feel a burden on my chest.

What is this, some sort of a gest?

I want to be as happy as the little birds in their nest;

As happy as the little kids in this fest;

As happy as they show it in the west,

for I am no better than the rest.

I want to be as sad as the little birds when they are thrown out;

As sad as the little kids, crying all their eyeballs out;

As sad as when they broadcast it out;

for I am no better than the ones already out.

I want to be as angry as the birds in the sky;

As angry as the little kids when they are not allowed to buy;

As angry as when everything goes by,

for I am not better than the ones up in the sky.

Above all, I want some rest;

Not always, but sometimes go out;

I just don't want to let life pass me by.

                                                                                                    - 30/7/24

Reviews

[DecentlyOkayWriter]

Hey Dhruv! I liked this poem- it reminds me of the force of nostalgia, and the yearning to feel *something* other than want and need. It reads very well- but I have a small critique that might just be genius going over my head. Your rhyming words are very repetitive, but not in a continuous way, if that makes much sense?

For instance, stanza one uses lots of changing words that all rhyme( good on you 😅), same on the second, although you did repeat 'fest' from the first the first stanza. Then, stanza three is all 'out', which- okay, if you were to stick with the repetition of an ending word in a stanza from then on, it would be good, but you go on to change how you repeat the words in the next stanza. This makes the way it flows slightly choppy.

Please let me know if this is a specific type of poetry, though! I'm not perfect, and if this is some cool kind of framing I don't know about, I want to know! :D

Have a great day, and keep writing!

(P.S., you know what they say, perspective changes everything. I hope life looks up for you :)

[Dhruv Grover]

Yes,
I felt that as well. But the thought behind the open was the three basic emotions we have all gone through - Happy, Sad and Angry.

It was an attempt at writing a poem of this sort. I know it feels repetitive but in the last stanza, you can see the three words - rest, out and by.

Really appreciate the review dear friend,
Thank you!