Death By Karaoke

There are plenty of reasons NOT to end a relationship in a bar. The not-so-subtle impact of alcohol on self-control would be at the top of that list, followed (sometimes literally) by the effect of scalding hot bar food thrown in your face. And then there’s the darts, billiard balls, and ornate but not securely bolted glass sculptures to worry about. 

 

It turns out the most dangerous item of all is the karaoke machine.

 

To preface the story, I was up in San Francisco for the weekend visiting some old college buddies. One of them had organized a pub-crawl that included his favorite bars in San Francisco. But a close friend and I must have had a few too many beers, because after the third bar, we had managed to find ourselves separated from the group. We wandered around the streets, and finally stumbled into the Pandora Karaoke & Bar. It’s the kind of upscale establishment that tends to attract a trendy clientele who want to sing out loud without having to sit on furniture that might give them a fungal infection. On the strange night I was there, a throng of twenty-somethings in barely their dresses came in, with one dude clearly happy to be in tow. 

 

…And, as I found out later, totally unaware his girlfriend knew he was cheating on her.

 

They rented out the Hennessey Room, the swankiest of several private VIP areas, and buckets of top shelf bottles were quickly brought in for the three-dozen revelers as they launched into sexy renditions of their favorite power-ballads.

 

The lone guy was working overtime, sucking down bottles of Dom with a permanent smirk on his face, until his stunning girlfriend put on Rihanna’s Take A Bow.

 

For those of you who don’t know, the song is all about a guy who got caught. 

 

As she was singing, her face got more and more twisted, with deep pockets of red popping up along already rosy cheeks. Then one of her friends joined her on stage. Then another. Then another. By the end of the song, the entire group was screaming the lyrics, glaring down at this suddenly sober �" and terrified �" lonely dude.

 

At the end, the girlfriend (now clearly an EX), threw down the mic and the entire group filed out. 

 

Leaving him with the bill.

 

Best of all, me and my friend followed the horde of beautiful women to their next destination, and I made sure to buy the newly single sexy lady a drink. Swoop.

 

Daniel Hogan is a writer at Party Earth - a global media and entertainment company that publishes reviews and listings of the best social experiences around the world including: bars in Paris, pubs in London, beaches in Ibiza, plazas in Rome, parks in New York, festivals and concerts everywhere, and more.