A Confession to Make

Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend? But you don't have the courage to tell them that you love them? Here is my first love story based on my true experienced in life. Enjoy reading!

Yes...it was a year ago...a year of pretending and a year of hidden heartaches.

One evening, as I was walking on my way into a small store, I was fascinated by the man I saw standing in front of the store I am heading for. He smiled at me so sweetly as if we really knew each other. I just gave him a glance and continued walking towards the store. As I was standing there, I asked what I need to the owner of the store. I knew that he was staring at me and that gave me a feeling of consciousness. Like a man in fire, I finished my transactions to the store immediately.
I thought it was just a simple encounter but I was wrong because it somehow painted a story bounded to happen that will change my life.
After a few weeks of that peek-a-boo encounter, I met that same guy in the store again. This time he asked my name. I was a little bit nervous and my heart beat very fast but still I manage to answer in a low voice.
Since then, we started to meet often and talk different stuffs about us. I have known him completely and vice versa. Then we started to become best friends.
It was a pretty good friendship. He cared for me so much and I can really feel the same way with him. I treated him as someone special into my life. With him, I can be myself and can say whatever I want and express whatever I feel. Everything seemed to be perfect, I thought.
One time, as I was telling him a funny story, I noticed that he didn't have any reaction. I looked at him and asked what's wrong with him. He answered me in a low voice and just looked straight into my eyes. With his stare I could hardly melt. My heart beat so fast. I repeated my question and asked what's bothering him. I waited for the words to come out from his mouth.
In a mumbling voice, he answered: "Best, I fell in love with you..." Those words struck me intensely and for that moment, my mind is totally blank and hanging. I just stared him, convincing myself that he was just joking. But as I look into his face, he was damned serious.
I wasn't prepared for that moment and I really don't have any idea what to say. But then again I composed myself after a while and confronted him. I told him that I didn't feel the same way and my feelings for him was just as a best friend and a brother. With a heavy heart, I left him behind and run away...
In my room, I looked at myself through the mirror and asked myself if that's really what I feel for him...as a best friend...I can hear my heart crying but my mind insisted.
He tried to call me but I never gave him a response. After two days of that confession, he texted me saying that he would be leaving our place to continue his study in his Dad's province. As I was reading his message, I burst into tears. He asked me if he could just see me for the last time before he left.
As we were sitting face to face, deep silence filled the air. He was the first one to break the silence and asked me again if I didn't really feel the same way as he did. As my eyes looked nowhere, I uttered: "I'm sorry... I am not..." I was a little bit numb that time but I can still feel my heart and my mind fighting...for the reason I don't know or should I say... I don't want to know...
I see myself in my room again...staring at the mirror. It's really hard pretending to smile and show that I'm fine in front of the mirror. Now, knowing that he's gone gave me a feeling that something sharp is piercing my heart. I really felt like I'm breaking into pieces. I broke down in tears.
I must confess. I do miss him so badly.
I never accepted the fact that I realized that I was also in love with my best friend. I tried to hide my feelings, but despite of my efforts... I failed.
I never had the courage to tell him about what I really felt. I was afraid that I would just ruin all the plans he had already made from me.
I guess, I filled myself with so much pretension. Until now, he believes that I only see him as a best friend. He never knows that I'm really suffering inside and I'm trying my best to hide all my heartaches.
But I know and believe that time will bring us back together. As of now, I will just continue pretending to be his best friend. If he will come back with the same feelings for me...then, I will confess to him that I really love him so much.

Reviews

[Rei Cn]

This kind of reminds me of myself. "If you love someone, tell them. If you don't tell them they'll never know. Tell them, and the worst thing that can happen is for you to get rejected and then you can finally move on." So I have been told that, and even I do believe it. But the thing is, it is actually easier said than done. In my case at least. I wish I am not too "shy" as my friend have described me. I wish I am not too scared to ruin the friendship that we have.

Yet even if I can't do it, I still believe that the best thing to do is to tell them you love them if that is how you truly feel. You can't always hold on to 'Fate' to make it for you. Sometimes, drawing the lots is the only option.

Lovely piece, by the way. Thank you for sharing. :)

[Darkyshadow]

When you love someone, you need the courage to tell them that you loved them. Don't be afraid to express your feelings. Because if you don't tell them what you really felt, you may end up regretting someday.