Cadence

Cadence,

my loving star

select season of paradise

A vision of what we want to be

A vision of what we once were

A thought that can never be heard

you are still my virile prowess

Calloused fingers

 heartstrings in concord

harmonious nocturne

I am a man of men

oceanic iris reminds me 

of milk skin

silk sin

I digress...

What I was trying to convey is now clear

When I reminisce, 

it is of fall evenings

         When I dream, 

     I dream of undaunted embrace

                          When I am outcast, 

                I think of your visage

          - you have affected my being -

Author's Note

All constructive criticism is appreciated.

Reviews

[Kristallo]

This is stunning. I really adored the line, "oceanic iris reminds me of milk skin... silk sin." That's a lovely and clever play on words. I really enjoyed how this felt like a moment lost in an nostalgic daydream, you've written it with vibrant visual prowess that stings the heart it's brazen expressions. Also loved this part: "When I reminisce, it is of fall evenings... when I dream, I dream of undaunted embrace... When I am outcast, I think of your visage." That was awe inspiring, and you ended it perfectly- something that is not easy to do. This was a delight.