The Room

                           He's dying

                    Rooms are too small for the friction we've been dealt

                              We're all dying in here

                                These walls keep growing

                             Freezing screams squeeze

                     Echoes keep giving signs, but we can tell

                               We're all alone

                         We're all dying in here

               The gentleman in the corner seems the worst

                         Glasses shattered on the floor

                                  Skin seeming so frail 

                               A look at our faces show

                  We're all dying in here

                         We have no safeguard

                    A young girl was the first to leave

                                                       Turning pale

                                     telling us to come closer

                            "Come closer," she says 

                          Everyone was surprised

                                I think I was the only one that knew

                  She was dying in here

                          She couldn't carry on

                      She didn't want to carry on

                                                 I didn't place blame with her

                             Why would anyone want to carry on

                                                      When we're all dying

         The old man seemed to hurt the most

                                      but I felt the most for the young girl

                               I'll never forget

                                     "Come closer", she says

            No one listened

                                     I did

                           Her cold cheeks were placed on mine

                                   She whispered

                                        "We're all worthless

                                                   We're all deserving

                                                                   We're all dying

                                                              We'll all die in here

Author's Note

I'm not sure this poem is really up to par, I would really appreciate constructive criticism.

Reviews

[Kristallo]

The cryptic shadows crept across the floor, and echoes bounced endlessly, dramatically, from all four corners of a room that stunk of madness. It can be true, we're all dying in here, clearly from this point of view you were in a bitter state of mind. It's chilling and beautiful. Wonderful write.

it most certainly is up to par.
it tells a story, and it reads like life.
this is something I can read over and over again without tiring of it.