stain

stain

A Poem by seamus_ali

i have stained myself w/ tears

w/ knives & renounciations & fear,

w/ the salt of her sweat & the promise of Christ's blood.

i have stained myself w/ failure & mad ramblings w/ crude desires.

i have stained myself w/ cruel etchings

& harsh words & solitary dreamings.

i have stained myself onto this green world

 

© 2008 seamus_ali


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Featured Review

I really enjoyed this piece. The first two lines pulled me down into the depths and entangled me and made me want to read more.
i read the comment by the person that did not understand why you used w/ in stead of with. Yes the w/ sign could have been exchanged for the word, but while reading the poem I was not distracted by the sign; however, I was intrigued by the fresh look of this piece, which was the initial reason why I chose to read this one right now and digest it right now. Uniqueness cannot be faux pas with a bunch of creative writers! I say do your thing.
by the bye, I really love your word choices. I am rereading another poem...can't remember the title right now, but your words lead me to enchanting places in my imagination. thanks.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

very very good

Posted 16 Years Ago


I really enjoyed this piece. The first two lines pulled me down into the depths and entangled me and made me want to read more.
i read the comment by the person that did not understand why you used w/ in stead of with. Yes the w/ sign could have been exchanged for the word, but while reading the poem I was not distracted by the sign; however, I was intrigued by the fresh look of this piece, which was the initial reason why I chose to read this one right now and digest it right now. Uniqueness cannot be faux pas with a bunch of creative writers! I say do your thing.
by the bye, I really love your word choices. I am rereading another poem...can't remember the title right now, but your words lead me to enchanting places in my imagination. thanks.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Just a stain, a filter of all the negativity. I like this, I can relate. Very well writen, good job.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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I liked it, don't really get why you used "w/" instead of "with" it didn't add anything for me and just made it seem a little like it was trying to be to flashy when your words could stand alone. I think you should just let your words speak for them selfs. There quality words and your thoughts are well put together.

-Andrew

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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4 Reviews
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Added on July 6, 2008

Author

seamus_ali
seamus_ali

lakeland, FL



About
A great man once said "if you ever get in trouble, keep me out of it", and I think that's still relevant. It reminds of what my Dad meant when he said "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and I'.. more..

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