The Oakland Bay

The Oakland Bay

Written by Destiny Glenn

            What is the reason for such madness over a simple desire? It should be okay to have the want to leave or suddenly disappear for good. What happened to the definition of freedom? A person should be free to have control over their own life without the words “mentally impaired” slipping out of another human being’s mouth towards them. Some people cannot fit in with the rest of the world and ultimately never will or their tired of constantly crying out for help. It shouldn’t be okay to place them inside of a building we call a “crazy house” because that’s the only place another human being believes they would fit right in. That human being wasn’t there for that person’s life, they don’t know that person’s timeline. They don’t know the reason behind it all. It’s not fair�"at all�"to shove someone in a category based on what the shell appears to be because that shell will always have an inside or maybe another side that you might never see. It should be a natural right to express one’s self comfortably without any negative backlash; that’s simply discrimination, but of course, this world will never view it that way.

            This life I’m stuck with until I die isn’t what I wanted. I strived for everything but this. Every time I were to reach even higher because I had fallen the time before, my prizes were always given off to someone who wasn’t sure they even wanted it. It’s the same thing every day as if I were to repeatedly jump into a time machine to relive the previous day again.  People say they’re there for me if I need to talk or to call them if they want to chill sometime but when I do, suddenly they’ve disappeared. Maybe I’m tired of being “her”: a girl whose name you’ll never remember or even want to attempt to talk to. Maybe I’m tired of feeling glued to where I am and unable to get loose to at least try to discover more out there. I’m just tired.

I’m ready to feel something different. I want to know what it feels like to know no matter what you do now, it’s about to be over and you cannot go back; there will be no more you. The feeling of stepping into the atmosphere and letting the wind take you wherever as you mute everything, oxygen quickly escaping your lungs, your eyesight fading away, and leaving your arms wide open because there’s finally relief. That feeling of finally being free. I’ve never tried to exit humanity and that’s because I reverberate too deeply on what others say or think about me. But there’s no need to worry about opinions when you’re not even here to hear them. And I understand that people will suddenly be there, feel terrible, or use as a “what not to do” example. I’m honestly okay with it.

Here I stand on the edge of the Oakland Bay bridge.

Will I jump? Yes.

Why? I’m curious to what’s on the other side, what really goes on when a person is declared dead. It could be paradise or�"hell, but I refuse to wait until someone tells me it’s my time. If anything is hell, it’s this world and my body’s exhausted from trying to get society to accept it. I’m not going to allow myself to suffer on the surface of the Earth when God gave humans the capability to take control and determine our own fate. I’ll be damned if I let someone take that power away from me. I’m honestly not scared because I’m ready to let go of everything. You shouldn’t call me suicidal, although many of you do. Call me what you want, but I considered myself adventurous. This is the beginning of a new journey I’m about to sail onto.

I take inhale deeply and whisper under my breath, “1�"2�"3.”

Letting my soul drift through the air and down to the sea.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

This is wonderful deep and poetic. .to find an exit life..a parallel life..for this one don't suit me no more..they don't understand me,I lose my chances taken away by others..
To me exit life do not have to be a no life at all,I could shut me from all..and live like unseen..
This writing is very special..you could read it some 10 times each you find some more depth to it
Lovely write.