There is No End

Poem from a poetry book I'm working on: "The Sequence of My Life"

There                                  

I stand in the hallway trying to hold back the tears. Doing what I think I should do--keeping my head held high for everyone else. Show no sign of pain or anger.  Someone needs to be their shoulder to lean on.  I’m the only one who

is                              

capable of doing that right now. I’m the only one who can keep it together. So why is everyone telling me to talk? They’re the ones who need to be talking, letting out their all their emotions. Not me. I’m acting strong for their sake. I’m fine, but

no

one wants to listen to me. As long as I am able to keep my feelings on the inside, I’ll be fine. Yea, I may cry a time or two. They don’t need to know that. The only thing that matters right now is them. Even though, sometimes I pray for my pain to

      

End.

Author's Note

This is my first poem in that form so... feedback would be great!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You are definitely a good writer. I've never seen such a poetry form before & I typically do not like such devices as this form seems to be . . . HOWEVER, I feel this form is very well done in this case. It caught my attention & I felt the two parallel messages were connected logically & flowingly. Now, about the message itself. I like the short message, no question. But I'm a little undecided about the longer message on the right. It's very well expressed & it feels very authentic & true-to-life . . . but at some point, I'm not really getting enuf of a focus to really be struck by what you're saying here. I like everything you're saying here, I can relate to it, but it just doesn't bowl me over with an abundance of cohesiveness. I know this sounds a little vague, but the message is vague, so that's the best I can do! *sigh*

[AliciaB]

I really like this poem. The form is interesting and reflects the piece's overall message of saying one thing while hiding a torrent of other thoughts and emotions inside. The words on the left mimic the reassurance you would give to others, but behind each one there is a great amount of insecurity, pain, and anxiety, as reflected by the stanzas on the right. I can relate to many of the ideas expressed in this poem, especially "Someone needs to be their shoulder to lean on. I’m the only one who is capable of doing that right now." I have been in that situation before, and your words exemplify well the stress and frustration that can come from that kind of experience. I also like the final stanza, in which the narrator claims to be "fine" but is in a way lying to herself, since she obviously harbors a lot of pent-up pain. Very intriguing overall, and I think you pulled the form off brilliantly. Excellent work!

[slfisher89]

Great; on a personal level I connect deeply with the poem. I use repression as a defense mechanism; knowing its ill-fated. I look forward to your book.