The Sequence of My Life

The Sequence of My Life

Destiny R. Glenn

 

 

You can walk into your own deception

You can climb high into the sky

Using only your hopes and dreams

You may lose your stable mind

 

I’ve done these things before

It’s not a pretty sight

Long nights and days of lonely frustration

Every thought becomes a cry

 

No one to state the obvious

No one to object the bad

All choices are stuck to be your own

When you shouldn’t have to make them all alone

 

All because of the hopes and dreams

The alacrity to get far

You’re left with nothing but insanity

Apprehensiveness becomes your life as a known star

 

You’re face is known all around town

Not for the glamor, the sass, or the smile

But for all the terror you have caused

The one who let everyone down

 

All you wanted was a chance in everything

Now what’s left is the struggle of forgetting

Dealing with that scarred mind

Now you’re left with the haunt of just waiting

 

I’m here staring at the wall

It’s the only thing that listens and responds

Not quite remembering how I ended up here

This is the sequence of my life

Reviews

[aLittlePain]

The title is very telling...your voice is strong and very clear, and though it pours from hearts pen with sadness, despair...it has a strength about it. I really feel this on a personal level myself, perhaps the regrets from poor decisions of your past...just my interpretation.

Ngā mihi maioha (warmest regards)
Rach x

[Destiny Glenn]

Thank you.

[Shy_muse]

This is such a sad poem. So full of hurt and despair and loneliness. I am sorry for whatever has happened to inspire you to write this. I have gone through a lot myself and I relate to this on a very personal level. Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem < 3

[barleygirl]

I'm not sure I'm following your entire message as a cohesive description of a whole life, but you've definitely woven in many creative & original ways to show some disparate glimpses of dissatisfaction bordering on despair. Your word choices are clear, hard-hitting, & fresh. All in all, good writing.

Here's the thing I find least effective in what appears to be a self-portrait in words . . . there's quite a bit of this written using the pronoun "you" which serves to distance yourself from the harsh realities you're describing. When using the pronoun "I" this makes it much more powerful, becuz you're owning your story, especially since the title suggests it IS your life. So tell it like your own life, not like some random other life that you are dispassionately observing.

[Destiny Glenn]

Thank you for the honest feedback. I really appreciate it!

[slfisher89]

I like that the speaker's warning becomes a path to hisher thoughts and past life. Its relatable because we all had times; where we have fallen short trying to please someone. I feel deep empathy for the speaker; want to hug them.

[Dynafox]

I feel this poem is about living with decisions that harmed you, and never being able to break out and be something not typical.

[Destiny Glenn]

Yes, that's exactly what it is :)

[Dynafox]

awesome. I'm liking reviewing more and more. lol I don't do much poetry, but if you could give my story Changed a review. It's extremely short.

[Saad]

I find this poem a unique portrayal of a troubled teenager.
This is epic.