What do you do?

What is one supposed to do when they feel like they are not where they are supposed to be in life? when they feel like they are not in god's will.. and they so badly want to be, but at the same time they dont want to lose anyone in order to get into his will... what do you do when so many ppl tell you that what you are feeling is true, that there is better out there for you.. but at the same time you are so scared.. scared of the unknown.. scared to hurt anyone.. scared that just maybe you and everyone else are wrong.. and scared to just "do" anything..even if it has already been done..i want to believe he is the right one... but too many people agree with what i feel deep inside...i just dont want to open my spiritual eyes.. i do.. but not to that... i love him so much.. and no one can argue that fact with me.. but maybe friends are all we are to be...but then what about kaylee.. both of us she needs.. idk.. im scared to admit im scared... i want the best in life for my daughter and i.. and him too... but i know he only wants me and her.. but what if the best for her and i isnt him? it should be he is her father...and i know i am im her mother... but maybe we arent for eachother...but who else would love me? deal with all that is me!? i dont know... i dont want to hurt him again.. or lose him forever... what if he is the one.. but then again what if he isnt? i mean even his own family tells me they dont know if he is? would we be able to end and still be friends? i dont konw.. i almost think he would never talk to me again.. or only try once more to get me back.. i know im not strong enough to stay away.. i love him.. and always will... even if he is not the one.. and if i find the "one" i will still love him.. he will always be my first love, and the father of my world...  i just dont know... what else could there be for me? i know i need to just have faith.. and and he will lead me... but what if for some odd reason i miss what he trys to show me.. or what if i have already waited to long and the door for me has been shut? but but but what what what...i just dont konw... i feel so lost and confused, depressed and blue....and no its not because of you.