Tricked

This is the second short story I've ever written

TRICKED
A short story by Devin Stevens

I was awoken by a high pitched scream. It was my mother. i walk from my bedroom to see what has happened. as i reach the base of the stairs i see her sitting on the floor with what seemed to be my father lying limp in her arms. but as i get a closer look she's not holding him in a way a wife would hold her husband it seems more forced than anything. i take another step down and the step lets out a loud moan alerting my mother of my presence. She turns to look at me. but what i see is not my mother it can't be her her eyes are smokey and lifeless and her face is drenched in blood. she snarls at me as if she were a rabid animal and i see the truth of what is happening. my fathers intestines have been ravished out of his body a look of betrayal and horror is the only thing I can see in his lifeless eyes. again my mother snarls at me but instead of lunging at me she runs towards the living room. i want to run to my father as if my presence would be enough to awaken him but i retreat to my parents room and lock the door. i start rifling through the dresser looking for the revolver my father had shown me awhile back I can't seem to locate it. BANG! The door splinters as my mother retreats presumably for another bombardment on the door. i go to their closet and start flinging things to and fro again BANG! This time she creates a hole in the door. lucky for me it's not big enough for her to crawl through but i can hear her clawing her way through. I've searched every inch of my parents closet and have yet to locate the revolver. i look under my parents bed and finally locate the revolver in a shoe box. i feel a hand grab my ankle then the sharp pain of my flesh being torn into by the daggers that are my mothers teeth. i roll over ignoring the pain pull the hammer back and put one right in between her eyes. she goes limp i crawl out from under the bed and make my way downstairs the pain of my ankle being torn into is finally taking effect. i fight through it and make it to the phone i call the police and explain what had happened and they were on the way. I go to the lifeless shell that was my father and begin to weep. i have nothing left i hear the sirens wailing down the street i get up to greet them outside but I feel a grip on my shoulder. i turn around my mother is still alive she's crying why would you shoot me she said and brought me in for a hug i accept it for i thought all was lost. i begin to weep with her i feel a quick sharp pain as my mother rips my throat out and i fall lifeless next to my father i was tricked.

Author's Note

Again my grammar and punctuation isn't the best

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! grammar and punctuation not with-standing .. your story was a quick read ... kind of like punctuated bullet like sentence structure .. almost as the scripts in old Sargent Friday shows (Dragnet) .. i read your about you and appreciate starting to be expressive through the written word ..editing is something all can continue to improve and benefit from .. welcome to the cafe! see you around!
E.

[short story stevens]

I'm trying to work on my punctuation but I have a problem with learning and then remembering to use what I have learned i refuse to let that stop me though I will continue to write stories And try to remember to use proper grammar and punctuation did you read my newest short story called revenge for Jessica?

[Einstein Noodle]

no...i have not! but i will :)