Revenge for Jessica

This is my newest short story

Justice for Jessica
A short story by Devin Stevens

I'm sitting in my room listening to music and preparing for my midterms. my phone rings i look at it it's my girlfriend. "hey beautiful i was just thinking of you." she's sobbing. "baby what's wrong why are you crying?" "i can't do this she replied" "do what jess what is wrong what are you talking about?" "us, my parents, life it's all becoming a burden that I can't seem to handle much longer" "baby girl where are you i want to see you we should be with one another to make it through this we have been strong for 7 years today" "HA! I KNEW YOU FREAKING REMEMBERED! why haven't you been over yet it's almost 7 pm and we haven't seen or spoke all day." "wait what? I replied befuddled so you're not breaking up with me or thinking about committing suicide?" "What? No I have an amazing family and the best boyfriend ever. i was just seeing if you forgot our anniversary and why you haven't made it over today to see me." "jess i'm studying for my midterms and gathering myself together now because you just about caused me to have a heart attack can you come over? i really want to see you but I have to cram for these exams." "sure she replies. I'll be there in an hour i have to walk my sister is using the car." "Okay I love you and i'll see you shortly." i put my headphones back in and hit the books again. i start getting a headache from all the studying. i look at my clock it's 8:45 and Jessica isn't here yet so I grab my phone and call her phone. a man answers "hello? Where's Jessica and who is this?" "You obviously have the wrong number." i look at my phone to make sure i didn't press the wrong number i didn't so I reply. "no this is Jessicas phone now tell me where she is and why you have her phone." the man laughs and says check under the street light on the corner of 5th and main and hangs up. i try calling back but it goes straight to voicemail 5th and main is just 2 blocks away from my house so I get in my car and drive that way and i see a shadow of a person laying on the ground it's Jessica. i hop out of the car barely putting it in park i realize she's covered in blood as i try to help her up she's alive but just barely. i call the police and wait watching the love of my life slowly fading away the sirens are approaching at what seems to be the speed of a snail trying to pass a rock but they finally arrive. "baby hold on you're going to make it i promise everything will be fine now just don't let go i need you your family needs you." they get her on the roller and start to load her in the back of the ambulance she's holding my hand as they do so "red 4 leaf clover on the wrist" are the words she faintly whispers to me. "sir you'll have to follow us in your car if you want to meet us there feel free to do so." so i hop back into my car and call her family and tell them the events that have unfolded they're on the way to the hospital as well. we're sitting in the waiting room when the doctor calls for the family of jessica they say "i'm sorry but your daughter has suffered sever brain trauma and we tried to operate but the internal bleeding was faster than we could operate and she passed during operation i'm sorry." i walked away and broke down my soul mate my one true love had passed i couldn't believe it. her parents came up to me and we all hugged and wept together they say no matter what you are still family to us. "Red 4 leaf clover on the wrist those were the last words she spoke to me i think she was describing the last thing she saw on her mugger i promise that i will find out who did this i swear on jessicas grave that i will make him pay." "You don't have to do that the law will take care of that thug and bring him to justice" i chuckle and walk away. i go to the ammunition store and buy myself a new .45 and a box of ammo i feel the cold steel against my palm it feels good it feels like justice. i go walking around nonchalantly shaking peoples hands checking out their wrists as i do so my .45 resting in my pocket cocked and ready at any given moment I've been doing this for two days now with no such luck. i head into the store to get a Pepsi i get in line to pay when I see a red 4 leaf clover on the man paying ahead of me i didn't expect for this time to come. i froze up i don't think I can do this maybe her parents were right maybe this should be taken care of by the police he goes to leave i reach in my pocket to grab my phone and call the police i go to pull out my phone and dial when instead my hand grabs the .45. almost instinctively my arm snaps up aiming the barrel right at his back and i pull the trigger he falls to the floor i go up to him and he rolls over and pumps one into my chest it burns but it goes instantly numb and almost like a reflex i dump 2 more into him and he is down for the count. i get up and stagger to him to make sure he's done he's still breathing he's looking up to me through glossy eyes i look him dead in the eyes and i said "you're not laughing now are you punk" and put one between his eyes. i try to leave and realize that my legs are trembling i collapse. he must have punctured my lung because it's getting harder and harder to breathe and blood is falling from my mouth but I'm not scared. i start thinking to myself Jessica i have got revenge for you and now we're finally going to be reunited with one another so we may be together for eternity as it should be.

Author's Note

I know I have terrible punctuation

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

very straight forward language. again ..like the previous it is fast paced .. i would really encourage you to get an easy read book on punctuation ..even just using paragraphs would give this reader a hint at your intent when the story is moving forward .. a bit of a stopping place ..a place to allow for the "next" part of the story .. i was surprised by your hero's use of street talk as he "pumps" another one in etc. ... it tells me there is more to his life than "school" .. also the ease with which he obtains a firearm from a store .. for me it is not believable ... would rather he had the time it takes ...thinking about what he intends a little more ..or ..he is street smart and knows where to get a gun without a hitch ... just some thoughts from this old man ;)
E.

[short story stevens]

This is the type of constructive criticism I'm looking for people on facebook just tell me it's really good or that they really liked it nobody has even tried to give me some criticism thank you i plan on going out and buying Stephen kings book on how to write a book thank you my friend

[Einstein Noodle]

i love Steven King .... have read them all ...his "Gunslinger" series was my only disappointment ...did not enjoy the protracted ending ..nor the ending itself ... he has a bunch on writing tips etc. ...love and peace my friend
E.

[short story stevens]

Really? I absolutely love the dark tower series tho I've only just finished the 5th book it seems to be good so far but now that you have said that im kinda dwelling on whether or not to finish the series

[Einstein Noodle]

oh don't let me influence that ...you will always wonder if you don't read them all ..