The Ghost May 2016 Issue: Calls From Radio Land (Radio Drama)

What starts as a silly late night paranormal radio show from a college campus slowly turns into a potential deadly game as two ghosts guest star, one claiming to be a victim of foul play.

The Ghost May 2016 Issue

Calls From Radio Land

By Daniel Rodriguez


Ghost: I hear voices. They tell me to do things. They cry out for vengeance and justice. Only I can answer their call. The dead must find rest. They shall be avenged. I am "The Ghost".

Announcer: The Ghost!

FX: Wind

Announcer: Fighting for the supernatural, defying those who would take advantage of spirits, and keeping the boundaries safe. When the dead can't speak!

(Music; something mystical)

Announcer: Born able to communicate with the dead, Rick Hart, Private Eye, has established an agency secretly dedicated to serving those who passed and keeping balance in the two worlds. Should there be a murder most foul, should there be a grave threat to the powers that be. Then prepare for an otherworldly encounter with The Ghost!

FX: Clock counting down the time till it rings midnight.

Announcer: The fates have set. The time has come for the fantastic mystery ride of paranormal proportions, Calls From Radio Land.

Random Male: We interupt this program to bring you…

FX: Pipe Organ plays and stops

Random Female: They are going to kill us all.

Another Voice: Don’t worry they will never find us in here.

FX: Creepy creak of the door.

Another Voice: They found us.

Random Female: Ahhhh….its…

Random Male: It’s the Mort and Gomez show.

Fanfare: Gomez and Mort!
.
Random: Mort and Gomez, broadcasting live from midnight to five. The paranormal is out there. And it all gets answered tonight.

Fanfare: Gomez and Mort!

Music: Cheesy Intro song.

Fade Out.

Gomez: I am Mort.

Mort: I thought I was Mort.

Gomez: My mom told me I could be anything when I grow up so I decided to become you.

Mort: Not all parents can be winners.

Gomez: Which is why I am here hosting the most popular radio show from the midnight to five time slot.

Mort: I am a host too!

Gomez: Co host.

Mort: We both Co host.

Gomez: We let you think that so you feel special. But rest assured dear listeners, I am the host. After all you are listening to the Gomez Show…sometimes guest featuring Mort…

Mort: But you just said you are Mort. So if I am Gomez, I say let the Gomez show begin!

Gomez: That is right dear listeners this is the Gomez and Mort show, and we are broadcasting live from Field Studio at the edge of civilization.

Mort: If I were to describe what the edge of Civilization is, I would say its like where the last major road is, that connects to the big and scary city.

Gomez: Well College is wherever campus dictates.

Mort: College, setting low expectations since the founding of education.

Gomez: But our dear listeners, we love you. We love our job, and we are going to bring you, like we always do, the best in paranormal entertainment. See, me and my buddy Mort…

Mort: Gomez…

Gomez: Whatever he wants to call himself now, we have been always fascinated with the strange and bizarre, and I am willing to bet, if you are listening to our show, you are too, as is the world. So this show has been going for about…

Mort: Two years now.

Gomez: We have had psychics, exposed charlatans. Tried to contact the dead, played with spirit boards, and had professors and professionals from around the world try and scientifically ask, what is out there? What happens when we die?

Mort: And Aliens.

Gomez: The Alien debate is still a hot topic.

Mort: How hot can it be? Look, out of a small set of planets, life exists in one. Times those odds by a billion, math says, “hey, Aliens.”

Gomez: But do you believe aliens are here? Among us now? On Earth?

Mort: How else do you explain the reason I can’t get a girl?

Gomez: You are saying because you are an alien? Am I reading into this correctly.

Mort: No, I am saying that women are an alien species.

Gomez: And there goes our female audience. Let me ask the producer, did we just take a dip in listeners?

Mort: He is shaking his head.

Gomez: That’s great, all fifteen listeners are still on this channel.

Mort: Then do not change that dial. Do not fall asleep. For we have a special show tonight. One we promise to not be about aliens. Boogie men, or super heroes.

Gomez: We will not be trying to once again get The Ghost on the radio.

Mort: He wont return our calls.

Gomez: We also don’t have a phone number. If that is any type of consolation.

Mort: But we always have our ways of bringing every edition of our show as something new to the audience, so hopefully we wont have to resort to Plan B tonight.

Gomez: So tonight on our very special edition of the Gomez and Mort show, we are going to do something that hasn’t really been done before. In the past, people known as paranormal investigators use recording equipment to be able to hear the voices of messages of the dead. It is said often that one can interact. So in spirit of that tonight, we are going to use two sets of playback devices.

Mort: How this works, it records and instantly plays back at the exact same time, but on two different frequencies. In other words, if I were to talk into it, you would just hear my voice. However, if a ghost were to talk into it, the playback would make the conversation, what they are saying, be broadcasted in real time.

Gomez: Thank you to the paranormal science club for this fun invention. Now all we are going to do…

FX: Thump

Gomez: Is just put this next to the mike so if on the strange chance there is a ghost, that you the listener will actually be able to hear them on the radio.

Mort: Also for viewers, if you know anything about the fun Field office here in the middle of the edge of civilization, you would know of the rumors that this place is haunted. Not bad pipes haunted, but full on spooky stuff.

Gomez: Our wonderful producer came up with this idea when we first told him that this building was rumored to have a ghost inside two weeks back.

Mort: But that could just be a rumor.

Gomez: Again, which would bring us to plan B if this all fails.

Mort: That is right America, we will literally improv an entire show for the next five hours.

Gomez: So without further ado…

FX: Flip Switch

Gomez: And now we hope to wait, and begin what may very well be the first ever radio broadcast with a member of the afterli…

Malina: Hello. Am I on?

Mort: What?

Gomez: That wasn’t me.

Malina: Long time listener. No time caller.

Gomez: Alright, who here is coming up with this prank?

Malina: Wow, you can actually hear me?

Mort: There is no one in this room besides me and you.

Gomez: You are telling me we are…

Malina: Yes, you are live with a ghost!

Pause.

Malina: Oh wow, I just so rarely get to talk to the living. This is…kinda…empowering. ILL SWALLOW YOUR SOULS! (laughs)

Mort: Um…

Malina: I am kidding. Just kidding.

Gomez: For the record listeners. There is NO ONE else in this room but us. But what you are hearing is what we are hearing.

Mort: (Intimidated) For…um…a  ghost, you sure are…lively.

Malina: Really? A pun?

Camden: Hello?

Gomez: We appear to be picking up a second voice.

Malina: You two cannot see him, but I can, and I can assure you there is definitely another one of us in this room.

Camden: Hello. Yes, I am real.

Mort: I will definitely say this is a strange twist of events.

Gomez: Or we could say that this summoning was indeed a success.

Malina: I just happened to be a fan of the show and decided to crash your broadcast after last nights hype.

Camden: And I have been here for quite some time.

Gomez: Okay listeners, you are listening to the Gomez and Mort show, and with us we have two ghosts. Real quick for our audience, if you both wish to procede.

Malina: Why not? I love talking to mere mortals.

Camden: And I just like talking. Although I sure hope to have a good amount of say. Are we going to be kicked off any time soon?

Gomez: No, the night has been planned as just this. Lets just say my co host is not the most brightest person when it comes to the business sense. He says lets interview ghosts for five hours or lets be spontaneous for five hours. The only difference is going to be are we spontaneous with just the two of us, or with company.

Mort: One was a surprise, but two? I feel like this could be a fun night ahead of us.

Malina: I always thought AM denoted that it is morning. We got a fun morning ahead of us.

Camden: I am all about the fun. That is kind of why I died.

Malina: So fellow spirit, whats on the agenda for our show?

Camden: Well I think we should introduce ourselves first.

Gomez: So, say hello to radio land.

Malina: You can call me Malina.

Gomez: A not so common name. Melina is more…realistic I guess I wanna say?

Malina: I don’t question it.
Gomez: So what makes a Malina not a Melina?

Malina: Its not that uncommon. I find that the name has a rich history. I mean what is in a name anyways. Talking to ghosts and one of the hosts of this show is named Mort. You could go worse and have a Todd as well, being that in Germany, Todd can be seen as meaning Death.

Mort: I swear its all a coincidence. But I do know a Todd.

Gomez: And its fast paced back and forth that make us number one in this ungodly time slot on this obscure channel.

Mort: So to the other disembodied voice in the room, tell us about yourself.

Camden: Well, you can call me Camden and I work, or worked in the money business.

Mort: So can you give me some money?

Camden: (laughs) Not that wasy considering the current situation, but if I could, we could have an arrangement.

Gomez: Okay,. I am going to be the one to break the ice, it needs to be broken…how did you die? Why are you two ghosts?

Malina: Ahem, excuse you, you are addressing a lady from the 17th century, and you have offended me!

Gomez: I am sorry I…

Malina: I am just kidding. Actually I was born a ghost.

Camden: Wait. Born a ghost? I have been dead for awhile and never met one with such a claim.

Gomez: So who gave birth to you?

Malina: Sarcasm would say my mom. But that’s not entirely true. You see, I died before I had the chance to be born. But you never hear of ghost fetus haunting. Right?

Gomez: I guess that makes sense.

Malina: Yeah, so I have this anchor to this plane, I cannot cross over until its either severed, or it ends.

Camden: So, wait, born a ghost, you were a baby once?

Malina: Yes. I age. Unlike other ghosts, those who have ties, their being changes to match their bond. The Science behind it…is complicated.

Mort: We here have a paranormal show but if what you are saying is true, what we, as humans, have spent hundred and thousands of years trying to know, doesn’t even scratch the surface?

Camden: I think I still look the same as I died. I mean minus the horrific way by back was snapped in half.

Gomez: So, how did you die?

Camden: Well, you see…I was murdered. I died in this very building. My body, is not twelve feet from this room, still laying in wait to be recovered. So how about a game, by the end of the night, lets see if you all can figure out who killed me?

Dramatic Music.

Fade out.

Gomez: And welcome back to the show, it is time to take calls. Who out there in radio land wants to talk to our guests tonight?

Mort: So lets get to the calls, you are here at KRNT, the Gomez and Mort show we are taking your calls. The lines are slowly beginning to line up, we have about three at the moment. Our producer is giving us the go ahead. Hello, welcome to Mort and Gomez, the greatest supernatural radio show in all the land.

Rick: Hello? Am I on the air?

Malina: Oh wow. Really?

Rick: I just would like to state that dinner isn’t going to cook itself and I lost the directions. Can I get any help?

Malina: (trying to play it down) I don’t know who this is, but maybe if you learned to not rely on directions and you know, learn to cook, this wouldn’t be a problem?

Gomez: Whoa, we are getting a little hostile.

Malina: Sir, I do not apreciate your prank call…

Rick: And my hat? I cant find my hat.

Malina: It is with all your other hats! How many times do we have this conversation?

Mort: We?

Malina: exestentialism. If we as a people are not looking for a hat, we are looking for something else. And in your case. CHECK THE CLOSET! And its midnight! Go to bed. You have work to do tomorrow…I am sure.

Rick: Listen sis. I don’t apreciate this tone you are giving me.

Malina: I am sure he calls all women sis. The sexist pig.

Rick: I am not a sexist pig. I may have problems communicating with the female species. But…

Malina: You have problems speaking to the living women. If they are dead, they are your best friend. Is that why you are calling…random stranger whom I never met.

Rick: By the way, love the show and thanks for taking my call!

FX: Click.

Gomez: And it looks like you got yourself a fan already.

Malina: It is what it is. He reminds me of my idiotic brother.

Camden: Lady, you have a brother?

Malina: Oh yes. He is very stupid.

Mort: Well looks like we have our first general consensus of the night.

Malina: I somehow think he would take that as a compliment. The boy is weird.

Camden: So is your brother your link into this world?

Malina: Something like that. We cant seem to escape another.

Camden: And what made you bond with him.

Malina: Well it’s a powerful connection. You often see them with twins, or single parents and an only child. Its not something that just happens because two people can connect over things, its like the soul doesn’t have just one shape in one demension We are more like magnets and they can connect and when they do, its sometimes hard for them to unconnected. My brother for example, We connected before I was born which is why I am still here.

Mort: So we got more callers. Lets go back to the lines. Alright, this is Mort, you are on the Morty show starring Mort.

Caller: first time caller.

Mort and Gomez: Hello First Time Caller!

Caller: Anyways been listening to you guys back when you were running this show from the basement.

Mort: Ah the good old basement.

Gomez: My mom was not very happy when she finally got down there.

Caller: I want to speak with Camden.

Camden: Alright, I am listening.

Caller: So you said you were murdered, and you asked us to figure out who did it, right?

Camden: Well that is right? And your question?

Caller: So who did it?

Camden: I am afraid for the sake of this game, for me to say the asnwer would be the same as a random lunatic claiming the government wants to kill them. I say we let the evidence point out the conclusion and then everyone will believe.

Caller: So can I ask another question?

Camden: I am in a good mood tonight Caller, so by all means.

Caller: What is it like to be murdered? I mean sure, I mean I bet you can ask a lot of ghosts what it is like to die, but to be murdered, I wonder if it feels different.

Camden: Well death and the cause of did feel like two conflicting things. I guess I want to say that one was peacefull but the rage, the anger inside of me. The window as it shattered. Seeing his smug face smiling knowing that as I enter the afterlife. I will never get to have him pay for what he did to me, and for him too, for us both to know that this is how it ends. Me, dying, inferior, and he gets to move on with his life like its an accomplishment through my corpse. I got nothing left but rage. And it ate at me until the last thing I saw, before I blacked out and awoke to my more invisible form, was red. I felt fire.

Malina: Sounds like you might be becoming a grudge.

Gomez: A grudge?

Malina: A ghost who cannot move on, and must enforce revenge to fill its satisfaction. They move on either by forgiving or through exorcism.

Mort: So you are saying Camden is evil?

FX: Knock on window.

Gomez: What is that?

Mort: Our producer is telling us that…the cops are here…

Malina: I wonder who gave them the tip.

Mort: I am willing to bet someone said the allegation was credible and worth looking into.

Gomez: The Owner of the Studio, Mr. Field will love this.

Mort: For those who don’t know Mr. Field, he is the nicest man in the world.

Camden: Humph.

Malina: I will take your word for it gentlemen.

Gomez: Well he writes me checks every month and I get to pay the bills. So thank you Mr. Boss for keeping us low folk employed.

Malina: How much do you make? I mean in todays economy?

Mort: Well that question is a little….

Camden: You don’t know?

Malina: Know what?

Camden: They volunteer for scholarship. As long as they entertain their numbers, they get to keep their dorm and their classes.

Malina: And how do you know this?

Camden: I have been haunting this place for awhile.

Mort: Well it looks like the cat is out of the bag. I hope no one mentions this again because frankly I like having the credibility of being a believable professionals.

FX: Door knocking.

Gomez: Well it looks like the police are going to be wanting in, but don’t  change your dial, we will be back.

FX: Door opens

Fade out.

Mort: And…we are back. I know some of you may have felt that the commercial break was a bit too long and you are right. We have actually had a bit of an off mic discussion with our boss, the incredibly talented and amazing Mr. Field. But now that talk is over and we have had some strange consensus.

Gomez: He wants us off the air tonight.

Mort: Off the air might be a bit much, but rather that we end our prank of the week.

Gomez: Our prank. That is right ladies and to the occasional gentlemen here at radio land, apparently, this is one of our pranks.

Malina: Aparently this is a really fun prank.

Gomez: Take my word for it, the cops are not treating this as any level of a prank.

Mort: We will fully be cooperating with the police if you can see.

Gomez: Hear. Seeing is for people who are actually able to see, us, now, in this room, and the five manly police officers that have entered this room.

Malina: You are also clearly missing the one pretty lady female officer.

Gomez: Yes, I am checking her out right now. Um…yes…

Mort: Maybe you should do less checking out and more hosting the show. I am glad to continue with the Mort show and my two supernatural guests for the night, with a cameo from my esteemed collegue but I don’t think that is what the listeners expect from our high brow and steady quality program such as ours.

Gomez: I don’t agree. I know they come to listen to our comical low brow humor with an unsteady quality of content. You never know what you are going to listen to as we do our show but…

FX: Muffling

FX: Object falls.

Gomez: Watch the equipment friend.

Off Voice: Sorry.

Gomez: That’s alright, just be careful.

Mort: What is that?

Gomez: You getting something?

Mort: Our producer, ladies and gentlemen is once again receiving word from Mr. Field, that we should cut this broadcast.

Gomez: But we are not going to. If we have to rebel radio this show, than we will. This is a once in a lifetime chance to talk to ghosts America. Imagine the rarity of what we are actually doing and accomplishing here.

Camden: I can assure everyone at this station that there is no prank on my end. And the mystery still continues.

Gomez: You mean about you being murdered right?

Camden: That is correct.

Gomez: Be careful what you say, the police might actually start sending in detectives.

Mort: You say you were murdered in this building, but so far the police have not been able to find the body. You also say you were buried about twelve feet from this exact location.

Camden: Twelve feet might not be precise. I am dead, I don’t exactly have an item to measure the exact coordinates in feet, inches, or centimeters from here. But I can assure you, it would be a simple walk through a wall or two, and a couple feet down and there what would be, whatever could possibly remain of me. Down there.

Mort: But what about life pre murder. I am sure our audience would love to get to know the real you.

Gomez: A Ghost’s Story. By Camden. It has a great ring to it my friend.

Camden: Well, you see I was raised on the street. My mom, from back in the day, was a stay at home, mom. She tried to bring in what money she could by making and selling knick knacks. She had little socks and pants she would so and then sell to the nursery around the corner. I was growing up then, to be a wanderer. As I grew older, she couldn’t support us, and I had some friends.

Gomez: Like a gang?

Camden: Nothing like a gang, just a group of like minded people. But that wasn’t to say that there wasn’t some element from the outside that we didn’t look up to. I mean the streets were ran by one of three crews.

Mort: So did you find yourself running with them at all?

Camden: Yes and no. It was mostly my chum Joey. He got heavy into the easy money, and the drugs. By the time me and my friends realized it, Joey was so in deep that we didn’t even know which boss he owed the most to.

Mort: Sounds tough, how did that rub off on you?

Camden: Well that was the thing. At first this caused a splinter between me and some of my friends, those that were left were doing extra hard to pay off money so that we could hold onto our chum Joey as long as possible. Then came a war between the three clans and we lost someone dear. My mom meanwhile was arrested for trying to sell bootleg clothing and I, at the age of 18 found myself in the streets. Joey was hiding in a homeless shelter, and the only other friend I had, sold himself to a rival gang.

Mort: So Joey was just homeless? And you?

Camden: I could either turn Joey in, join my friend in one of the gangs, but I chose a third option. I got into the money business for myself. I used capital from a street loaner, and built my own business. At the age of 20, I had my own house, bought and paid.

Mort: And here I am renting like an idiot.

Gomez: Speak for yourself, I can’t even afford to look at a house, they charge too much to gaze in their general direction.

Mort: So you had a bright future.

Camden: But they found Joey, and now hes dead. He died before me. I feel like since I found my own place to call home, I was supposed to save him and bring him with me. But…

Mort: I think it was Malina, right? She said something about a grudge, regret, do you think that is one of your regrets?

Gomez: And the friend who joined the gang?

Camden: Overdose. My life, it has been a bit of a wild ride.

Gomez: So if you will allow me to ask you a question, am I allowed to ask questions?

Camden: Well, this is an interview afterall, and we still have three hours to kill before we get to five ocklock.

Gomez: Alright, question time, so…

Mort: Malina, are you still here?

Silence

Gomez: Huh, she seems to have left. I guess a five hour radio program was a bit to vivid for a member of the deceased community.

Mort: You were going to ask a question.

Gomez: Okay, so last you were telling us, you were in your twenties, how old were you when you died?

Camden: I was about thirty seven. I started losing count because in my business, and with all that happened, I did not surround myself with people I knew, only those I was in business with.

Gomez: So your life hit its turning point a decade and change before you bellyed up like a fish.

Camden: Thrown from the window but yes.

Mort: I am getting word from our producer. Um yes?

Producer: Mort and Gomez, I just got word. Hey? Am I on the air?

Mort: That is our producer ladies and gentlemen, say hi to America.

Producer, a couple of detectives are here wanting to be shown into the building from the outside.

Mort:…Detectives?

Producer: They say, they have found evidence of a crime being commited.

Dramatic Music.

Det. Thomas: So, what is this place?

FX: Foot steps.

Malina: It is Detective Thomas, I don’t believe it.

FX: Foot steps stop.

Det. Thomas: I heard someone call my name but all I see is you two gentlemen. What is going on?

Mort: We are currently interviewing two ghosts. Ironicly, the moment you stepped in the room, is the moment one of our dear guests has returned. Wait…you know this fine person?

Malina: We have on the rarest of occasions had the chance to interact. But I doubt he remembers me. I am a ghost after all.

Det. Thomas: What game is this? I have come from an hour long yelling session with Mr. Field, about a murder investigation into his office to walk into a ventriloquism act!

Mort: You cannot see dear listeners but he is currently putting his hands through both the empty seats in the room.

Camden: Having a detective invade my personal space like this is unsettling to say.

Malina: I just personally, for no reason, want to give a big shout out to Detective Thomas, and all the good he has done for the city and all the good he has done for me.

Det. Thomas: I know you are here, where are you hiding?

Mort: You are currently putting your hand through the male one, and the female I think…is sitting in that chair over there.

Malina: I am Malina, it is a pleasure to remeet your acquantince. Hey, watch where your hand is going!

Gomez: Detective for the sake of the collective sanity and to respect the supernatural in this room, can you please sit down.

Det. Thomas: You don’t understand, there is an investigation and I…

Gomez: I SAID SIT!

FX: Chair moves.

Mort: You sure have a way with words.

Gomez: I like to keep it simple and to the point.

Mort: So listeners, we are on the second half of the show and we have with us, cities finest, Detective Thomas, to give us an update. Now, Detective Thomas, before you give us an update, how about you inform the listeners about yourself?

Det. Thomas (shakily) Um, I am Detective Thomas with the…what else you want me to say?

Mort: Come Detective, I am sure you know the skinny on the underbelly of this city.

Det. Thomas: I wouldn’t call it an underbelly. It is more like a small plot. What I mean is that for the most part, crime in this city has been on a nice steady decline.

Mort: So, how much of that would be due to you and the special unit of investigators that keep murderers and theives off the streets?

Malina: And how much of that would you attribute to The Ghost? The cities very own hero who defends those who have passed and avenges others?

Det. Thomas: The Ghost? He is nothing but some wannabe actor who gets out of bed with a smile on their face knowing they are going to be running around in one of the stranger costumes you could ever find at a shop. The Ghost isn’t real.

Malina: But you have seen, him. I mean I have seen you interact with him on many occasions.

Det. Thomas: How coul… you are right. I will not deny that there is an individual known as The Ghost, but to say he is a hero with no weaknesses who…and why am I defending myself to a ghost anyways?

Malina: So you do admit you are talking to a ghost, right now.

Det. Thomas: Okay, lets make this simple, as I am sick of thee parlor games. Ahem, being on this radio show is probably one of the lowest points in my police career. However, we do have sufficient reason to believe that a murder was commited here.

Pause.

Det. Thomas: We have actually been spending valuable resources looking into the allegation and found that there was a kid named Joey who was murdered some ten years and plenty of change ago. He was associated with no less than five mob and gang organizations. We did further digging and he did have four close associates. Two are dead. One is more than alive, and the last one…is missing. We have no name, just that he was known for a set of sharrp suits he wore.

Camden: That would be me.

Det. Thomas: Aparently, Mr. Field, though he denies it, we found a paper trial, lent money from this person. This person of unknown name…

Camden: You can call me Camden.

Det. Thomas: We found a notebook in a house, unregistered but we believed the victim lived there. He wrote a note for a meeting with Mr. Field the day before he disappeared.

Camden: Well that is fun information. How about we take it to the calls?

Mort: Time for calls I guess.

Gomez: This is the Mort and Gomez show, you are on the air. We are listening.

Caller A: Hi, I have a question for Detective Tom-Tom.

Det. Thomas: What?

Caller A: You should be doing your job, not being on some dumb radio program, what are you doing right now? Why wont you stop and do your job.

Det. Thomas: I kind of agree with you.

Caller A: There are aliens, that are currently trying to abduct my husband because some dumb neck of a celebrity has summoned them by reciting some real evil personal vodoo on their latest album, and it needs to stop. And you are investigating a murder? I am sorry but I just can’t give you my vote in this upcoming election.

Det. Thomas: I am sorry but I am not brought in via election.

Caller A: So you didn’t even get your job through the proper channels!? What is this nation coming to?

Gomez: Thank you caller, I am sure he will take your words to heart. Alright, next caller. You are on the air.

Rick: Hi, my name is Rick Hart.

Det. Thomas: Oh no. Next caller please.

Rick: Now now, hear me out. Um, Detective Thomas, was it?

Det. Thomas: You know spittin well who this is Hart!

Gomez: I am sorry, who is this?

Det. Thomas: This is Rick Hart.

Rick: Private Eye!

Det. Thomas: A hack and a quack, who couldn’t make it in his business so he left the force and started his own practice.

Rick: How has it been treating you?

Det. Thomas: Last I checked I can still pay bills, and you?

Rick: I do recall solving two cases in the past month that you were assigned to by the police.

Det. Thomas: So that is what this is about, you are here to gloat?

Malina: I wouldn’t take that if I were you Detective. Show that louse of a private eye what a professional can do!

Det. Thomas: I will. You hear that Rick. I already know who murdered Camden, where the body is hidden, and I will get a confession before the night is through. I have a massive lead on the investigation, got a lawyer and a judge on call so we can begin the next phase when we find that final piece of evidence. There is nothing you can do about it.

Malina: But what about The Ghost?

Gomez: The Ghost? What about him?

Mort: You mean you have met The Ghost?

Malina: Something like that.

Camden: The Ghost? He’s here?

Malina: Can’t you feel his presence? The Ghost, he is already investigating the case. In fact, he is already in this building. And he will put an end to the wrong that has happened here, not that long ago.

Dramatic Music.

Commercial Break.

LunaSence

Coach: I am a coach. Me and my team work hard. Isnt that right boys?

Boys: OORAH!

Coach: Now Drop!

FX: Boys jumping onto the floor and getting back up.

Coach: I want to see three more. Now!
Boys: OORAH!

FX: Same

Boys:1!

Coach: Again!

FX: Same

Boys: 2!

Coach: Last one! Don’t let me down.

FX: Same.

Boys: 3!

Coach: Hit the showers.

FX: Hands clap and disperse.

Coach: So if you are like me, you need to know your locker room, is fit for the fight. I wont accept any effort that is sub par. That is why when things go south, we use LunaSence. It just makes sense.

Boy: Sir, we have no Lunasence sir.

Coach: HAVE NO LUNASENCE! We going to be doing laps all night!

Boys: (Groan)

Coach: Now get to it.

FX: Whistle.

Boys: (counting their reps)

Coach: Dang, we really needed that clean feeling to get us through this.

Theme song: For that clean feeling. (three knocks on wood) use LunaSence.

Spokesman: Use LunaSence, that clean feeling. Can be bought in most brand name stores.

End Commercial.

Announcer: And now back to the thrilling conclusion of this episode, Calls From Radioland

Gomez: Okay, for those just tuning in, we have had a most interesting broadcast so far. We started the night doing something that frankly, even ourselves, we weren’t sure was going to work. We used electronic equipment, melded with simultaneous feedback, and then looped it into the microphones in hopes of attaining the mythical white noise that often ghosts can leave to those who would listen.

Mort: We got not one spirit but two of them in the studio with us now.

Gomez: And lastly, before we bring back the broadcast, we have had rumors that this building we are in is indeed haunted. If what both of our ghosts say, confirmed.

Mort: And now we have a mystery that will hopefully be solved before the sun comes up. It is now 4 AM.  We have an hour left, and a race against The Ghost, our supernatural hero, and Detetcive Thomas, Hero cop and all around cool cat. Who will solve the mystery first.

Gomez: Well Camden, I think it is time we put our cards on the table. Mr. Field, the owner of the station is currently on his way here to personally pull the plug on our show tonight, but I really don’t feel like ending this all now. Do you Mort?

Mort: Definitely not. If we see ourselves as students of the paranormal than it is our job to stick to the route we have taken and to the choices that have been made.

Gomez: Now Camden, we have taken calls, we know who you were, the tough life you have led, and how you were able to pull yourself away from the streets, and to an extent, the influence to crime, of your friends.

Camden: That is an ackward way of looking at it.

Gomez: So I am going to ask you, Yes, or No, and you will answer. And I beat both the Ghost and Detective Thomas in this race to unmask your killer. Is this okay?

Camden: Go ahead.

Gomez: You were thrown out of a window, right?

Camden: That is correct.

Mort: Our hero is now one for one.

Gomez: Okay, the man who threw you out, does he work here?

Camden: Yes. He definitely workss here, although he doesn’t spend much time here as he used to. It is kind of lonely to be here when he is gone, it is as if my puprose has left. But when he is here…

Malina: That would be your rage. You have forced yourself to connect with him, unfortunately you are tied to this building, you cannot leave.

Gomez: Is that person, at this building right now.

Camden: No, he is neither here nor in any other room.

Mort: You missed it.

Gomez: What I want to ask, is what I think a lot of our listeners want to ask. Were you killed by Mr. Field, the owner?

Pause.

Malina: This is your chance to let go Camden. Say you forgive him.

Gomez: You knew?

Camden: Yes, I was murdered by the owner of this station. The man who is coming over here to pull the plug because I am more than willing to bet he recognizes my voice. I wouldn’t be surprised if the moment he heard me on the show, he instantly grabbed for the phone. It wasn’t until just now did I say who my murderer but even before then, this show has been threatened to shut down. Has this ever happened before.

Gomez: That Mr. Field tried to take down our show?

Mort: We did one time bring a corpse for show and tell…

Gomez: We were naïve. Since then, this show has been a pillar of hope and family values years running.

Mort: We did get drunk while trying to summon a demon though…

Gomez: We pulled pranks on that priest too..

Malina: You guys are horrible.

Gomez: But we have been running a clean show for the past few months, and no, Mr. Field has stood by us…

Mort: Until this night.

Gomez: Detective Thomas, I forgot you were here. While I have just solved the case…

Mort: I thought I solved it.

Gomez: Your thoughts?
Det. Thomas: Before you went through your whole journey of solving who killed our victim. I was able to pull up record of a window replacement in the presidents personal office. My office was able to get ahold of the gardner who worked here a couple years back and he claims that he was told to redo the bushes from the ground up. These bushed were right under the window.

Malina: Meaning if he was thrown out, his corpse would have ruined the bushes, and to get him out, the entire bed would have to be destroyed to hide the evidence.

Det. Thomas: That is exactly what I mean. But you caught on quick…whoever you are, or wherever you are.

Gomez: Det. Thomas still doesn’t believe that there are two more souls in this room than he can see.

Malina: Me and my connection, we have a lot of experience with these kinds of things. You could say I am known as the smarter half.

Mort: So why were you murdered Camden?

FX: Power Shortage.

Gomez: The Equipment is shot!

Mort: The lights!

Det. Thomas: Oh no. Really?

Gomez: Is all the power down? Tell me we are still running!

FX: Power reseting.

Ghost: We are on air with the Mort and Gomez show, with todays special guest…

Det. Thomas: It’s him!

Ghost: The Ghost!

Pause.

Ghost: A little fan fare please? I mean I did try to make this entrance pretty extravagant.

Gomez: You are kidding me. I mean, it’s really..

Ghost: Ahem, This is The Ghost! And you are listening to the cities best paranormal show, the Gomez and Mort Show from Midnight to 5 Am.

Pause.

Ghost: Really guys, this is you’re A-game? Ahem, You are with The Ghost!

FX: Happy Jingle.

Ghost: There we go! That wasn’t too hard was it?

Gomez: Sorry, we were still in shock, but any time.

Ghost: Thanks. I mean you have been trying to get me on for how long now.

Mort: You read my letters?

Ghost: I don’t know who you felt could give you an accurate adress so no, I have received no letters.

Mort: No…

Ghost: But to tonights, and this mornings main event!

Det. Thomas: So we are here with the Ghost, and is there any special revelation you want to bring before we bring in Mr. Field for questioning?

Ghost: Well that depends. I have Mr. Field with me in the other room. On my call, he is ready to come in and put a stop to the shenanigans.

Gomez: Shenanigans? This is a legit show.

Malina: Yeah Ri…right Mr. Ghost? I am not used to people being able to hear me.

Ghost: Don’t mention it Malina. Cameron. We will be hearing your story soon enough.

Camden: I already told my…wait, my name!

Ghost: Before we get to the confessions. City, you are life with The Ghost. Any calls?

Producer: Oh my gosh the entire board just went yellow with incoming calls!

Gomez: Caller, you are with The Ghost and company.

Caller B: Oh wow. I am a huge fan. So quick question. How come I have seen pictures of the media, where you take off your mask…but your someone else underneath? I mean usually they are like dead people. I saw a picture claiming to be of you, but you were a woman. What is up with that?

Ghost: Well, usually in my line of work, the dead do not always get to be heard. Sometimes, what holds them back is one final deed that only they can do. As such, I can become their vessil and through me, they can do whatever they wish, be it have one final face to face conversation, hold their child in their arms, or do something that only they in their abilities can do. So if I were to open myself to being possessed by an old man, it would not be suprising that when one would look at me, to see an old man. Next caller.

Caller C: OH MY GOSH I LOOOOVE YOU!!!

Malina: And He loves you next caller.

Caller D: So what made you want to wear a mask and run around in a costume anyways?

Det. Thomas: While we are still young Mr. Ghost?

Ghost: Well, that is a very easy question. Doing what I do, I can’t be two people in the real world, but in order to do what needs be done, there is a time for the self, and a time for The Ghost. There are things only I, my natural self can do, and there are only things my true self can do. If that makes sense.

Malina: In other words dear caller, he has no idea.

Ghost: As for the specifics of the costume, really the entire design was based off of stuff I found in an attic when I was a kid.

Camden: So, you admit you are human under all of this.

Ghost: Being human is not just our physical self, it is the state of our soul Cameron.

Camden: The name is..

Ghost: Cameron Welles. The worst loan shark the streets has seen in a decade. I am not here to take your credit Thomas, but I am here to shed light on the truth. Your pal Joey, as you called him, stole a lump sum in the millions from the different families, and you used that to disapear when he told you the location. You then sold him out to dry, then laundered your own company and sold horrific loans to growing companies in hopes of muscling the ones that make profit out to grow your own empire. This radio station was one of those investments. Am I wrong.

Camden: You Don’t know what you are talking about.

Ghost: Mr. Field.

FX: Door opens.

Ghost: He killed you..in self defense.

Mr. Field. I told him I wouldn’t sell. I also told him I had no interest in paying him back. I would not be blackmailed. I offered to pay off what I owed but he would not let me do such. He told me that he had “ways” of getting me to sign over the company. When I said over my dead body…He tried to kill me.

Ghost: But you were too weak weren’t you?

Camden: I was what?

Malina: You ran off a reputation but, even I, who can see your ghostly form, you couldn’t intimidate a scared pigeon.

Mr Field. When he charged at me after our scuffle, I used his momentum and flung him against the wall…But…

Ghost: The wall was made of glass, it was a window.

Mr. Field: He fell.

Ghost: You hid the body and pretended a loan shark who never really existed, never existed. Who would go investigating the disapearance of a boogie man?

Camden: None of this is true?

Ghost: Cameron Wells, how many times have you tried to kill Mr. Field since?

Camden: I…

Ghost: Even know, I can see your energy trying to surge the circuits, your going to try to electricute him right now. Right?

Camden: How did you?

FX: Spark

Malina: I was able to short it out before you could surge it.

Mr Field: He…

Ghost: Yes, you saw that bolt of electricity fly out at you.

Mr. Field: Then he really is here, still haunting this place.

Gomez: Wait, did you just try and kill our boss?

Mort: I just saw electricity almost attack Mr. Field.

Ghost: Cameron, you have given yourself away. I need you to leave this place, and never return.

Camden: You…You will stop me from getting my vengence?

Ghost: You tried to kill him, he killed you, what vengeance have you earned?

Camden: I survived the streets, I could have conquered the city, my empire would have grown…

Ghost: Had this man just let you kill him?

Camden: You cannot stop my rage.

Ghost: If you will not leave, I have the power to throw your soul into the next world. It is crude, and I hate exorcising evil spirits, but sometimes it is a necessity.

Camden: You wont. Because….

Ghost: You are out of options.

Camden: I have a hostage!

Malina: Wait what? Hey! Let go of me!

Camden: I will take this ghost with me. She has unfinished business in this world as well. It would be the same as you letting me kill her.

Malina: I said let go of me.

Camden: Make your choice. Let me kill this man and slate my vengeance, or I take her to the afterlife with me!

Ghost: Take her. I dare you.

Malina: You are willing to bet it all on this? He will do it you know.

Ghost: Take yourself to the afterlife.

Camden: Wait…no….I w…….I want my vengeance but I wont go alone (fade out)

Pause.

Gomez: I have no idea what we just saw or witnessed byt there was fireworks in the office, we definitely just now saw a creepy bright light, and I think…they might be gone.

Malina: Only one of us left the building. But I can assure you Cameron is gone.

Ghost: Heh, I had faith in you.

Gomez: That bright light we saw?

Malina: It was a rage being forced into the other world. No different than a man with dynamyte to his chest.

Mort: But he tried to take you with him?

Malina: He wanted to pull me as an achor with him to the other side.

Ghost: I shall take my leave gentlemen.

Det. Thomas: Mr. Field, we have some questions we would like to ask.

Mr. Field: Sure thing.

FX: Foot steps.

FX: Door opens and closes.

Gomez: Camden, Camden can you hear me?

Malina: He is no longer on this plane. He has his own self to thank for that.

Mort: But he could have killed you. I mean rekilled you. I mean…

Malina: I told you. My bond to this world is stronger than the strength of his soul, or the weight of his rage. My brother out there, he needs me. And I shall forever watch him. Gentlemen, I bid you all a good morning.

Gomez: You are listenin to the Gomez and Mort show, and as I look outside, it is pitch black but I am sure there is a bright dawn looming right around the corner.

Mort: It is Five AM and we will see you again, tonight at midnight. I…do we have a plan for the next show?

Gomez: Plan B?

Mort: So stay tuned for our next episode full of a lot of plan B.

Gomez: Next time!

Fanfare: Gomez and Mort! Only on KRNT

Silly Jingle.

Cut out.

Announcer: The Ghost and all characters are copyright by Supernatural Magazine Monthly. All characters living or dead are fictitious and all similarities are practically coincidental. All rights reserved.

End.

Author's Note

This episode is done tongue in cheek-ish, Its format is slightly different than others as I am currently experimenting on styles. It needs some editing but any and all feedback is welcomed. See you in a month at midnight for the next installment.