The Heroic Exploits of Detective Watts pt. 2: Kidnapped!

Jack the Ripper, dagger in hand, slowly, silently crept through the dark streets of London; ever careful to avoid the diligent gaze of El Nacho and his elite squadron of shoemaker hunters.

“Curse that damnable Detective and his Hispanic cohort!” The Ripper said. “Now, not even my shoes can provide me with safe refuge from these English cretins!”

Suddenly, El Nacho leapt from around a corner, his trusty burrito readied for combat.

“Villainous cur!” he said “drop your blade and surrender your ill-gotten freedom!”

“Accursed Spaniard” The Ripper racisted in reply “I’ll never surrender to the likes of you!”

 

The Ripper quickly climbed the walls of a nearby fish ‘n chip shop and leapt through the window, as El Nacho followed behind.

“Take one step further” the Ripper said as he placed his knife on a fish ‘n chips throat “and the fast food gets it.”

“How could you!” El Nacho replied “How could you kill something so pure, so British.”

“Make one wrong move” the Ripper continued “and it dies. No real Englishman would allow that to happen. The public will be disgusted. You’ll be deported back to Sweden.”

“Ok, ok.” El Nacho said “just put the fish down, and I’ll do anything you want.”

“One billion pounds for the meals life” he said as he moved towards the window. “Come alone, or neither of you will survive.”

The Ripper leapt from the window and fled into the crowded streets below, as El Nacho began to make his way back to Scotland Yard.

Author's Note

Biggest insperations: Star Wars and Hitchikers Guide to The Galaxy.

“Stop!” shouted Detective Watts as he pursued the villainous Baron von Borl through the streets of London. “You have nowhere to run!”
“Nowhere?” The Baron replied as he curled his fiendish moustache “Why, I never planned to run anywhere my dear Watts. Why would I when, with this; I can run ANYWHEN!?”

That sentence is this whole book. That is the entire idea behind it.

Reviews

[TBird J.]

Poor El Nacho and his beloved British snacks!! Haha! Btw ANYWHEN was a beautiful idea!