Chapter 4

“If I could collect data from opposite ends of the Earth, I should be able to use it to triangulate the Invaders’ fleet’s position”

Combobulous paced back and forth, across his lab, as he spoke aloud to himself.

“But it’s too far. By the time the data reaches me it’ll be useless. What I need is a form of communication that’s both cellular and mobile.”

He cupped his face in his hands and slumped into his chair

“But what, what can I use... what can I- I have it!”

He leapt to his feet and ran to his drawing board.

“Pidgeons! I can use homing pidgeons!”

 

Meanwhile, aboard the invaders mothership, Ambassador Drake and The Council of Evil planned out their next move.

“One of the Earthlings has been atomically altered by the formulae.”

Drake paced back and forth in front of the Council

“Now we can’t get anywhere near it. He takes it everywhere with him. Even our most advanced atomic death rays are no match for him. We do, however; have a plan”

 

Ambassador Drake hit some buttons on the table and a hologram appeared.

“Deep beneath the Earth’s crust lies an inter-dimensional portal, constructed aeons ago by a prehistoric, reptilian race. Rumour has it, the portal links to another dimension; far in advance of our own. If we can mine down to it, we may be able to acquire the advanced weaponry we need to defeat Professor Combobulous, and finally conquer the world!”

 

“Very well Drake”

The Council’s Chairmen moved over to the ambassador, a menacing glare in his eyes.

“But if you fail us again, the Council may decide it no longer needs you.”

“Yes sir” Drake said as he cowered slightly “I promise. It’ll all go to plan. No need to worry.”

 

Meanwhile, in another dimension, Captain Asimov and his crew of space marines were pursuing his arch-nemesis, the villainous Lord Greystalk; through the depths of uncharted space.

“Full speed ahead Mr. Scott. Hasten down the poop deck. All crew, starboard side.”

Asimov was, as usual, pretending he had some vague idea about how a spacecraft worked while, all around him, the marines frantically ran to and fro, piloting the ship after the renegade aristocrat.

 

“Cap’n” said a marine who happened to be from Space Brooklyn “They’s gettin’ away. We can’t keep up”

“Blast!” Asimov replied

“Reverse the polarity of the thrusters. Knight to E4. Charge the neutrino cannon-“

Before Asimov could continue his nonsensical chatter, a portal to Combobulous’ dimension appeared, sucking him and his crew in.

Author's Note

An excerpt from chapter 5:

“I call it; a sub-oceanic anthropological transport pod.”
Professor Combobulous walked into the Prime Minister’s war room and laid a set of blue prints out on the table.
“The ships exterior” he continued “is atomically altered so as to always stay one time zone ahead of the rest of the vessel. This ensures that the surrounding ocean will always be one hour from breaching the hull.”

Reviews

[Cytosine]

God, this is hilarious! And it has a decent plot! I can see it getting published someday.