Chapter 1

(A reboot of this http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Detective-Watts/589909/ but you don’t really need to read. It makes sense without. Or, at least, no less sense.)

 

Detective Watts and his trusty ally, El Dorito, silently crept past the Baron’s elite security taskforce and into Fort Borl’s conveniently man-sized ventilation system, linking the building’s exterior with key security areas.

“The trick, my good friend” Watts said in a voice a fair few too many decibels too high for silent creeping. “is to be not only stealthy, like a moose, but swift of foot, like a moose”

“Quiet! They’ll hear-“ El Dorito tried desperately to end his friends obnoxious ramblings as, down below, a squad of guards took aim at the sound of the two heroes.

“I, personally, have previously endeavoured to breed a moose-moose hybrid for missions such as this. In fact, I once- Hey, do you smell something taking aim at us?”

“Yes! I’ve been trying to-“

“Bah! Is most likely nothing. Now let us continue our-“ Watts was interrupted by a sudden flurry of bullets but, luckily, both him and El Dorito survived by hiding in their shoes.

 

Meanwhile, high above the surface of the Earth, The British Interplanetary Expeditionary Force was locked in deadly combat with Invaders from Beyond the Moon, to decide the fate of the Universe itself.

 

The British fleets behemoth flagship hurtled into the jaws of the enemy forces while, inside, Prime Minister Winston Churchill coordinated the fleet.

“Five thousand phazer cannons on this craft” he said “and not a drop of champagne! And, yes, it does have air conditioning for when it’s hot but no air proditioning for when it’s cold! It’s always awfully chilly so far from the equator.”

“Sir” Admiral Crunch, covered in battle scars, ran onto the ships bridge and up to Churchill “The enemy fleet has taken out our atom supply! The nuclear furnace is shutting down!”
“Blast and damnation!” Churchill rose from his seat and, cigar in hand, stepped into the ships air-lock “If I don’t make it back, tell my wife I had more impressive last words then these”

The lock opened, sucking both the prime minister, and his cigar, towards the raging battle below.