Northern Star

 Northern Star

 

I need a break

Give me a break

Give me a cure

Give me something

 

I can’t do this

I’m striving for words

I’m lost in anxiety

I’m drowning in my mind

 

I don’t know what way to act

I don’t know how you want me to

I don’t know what you expect

I don’t know why you won’t just tell me

 

I’m drugged

I’m poisoned

I’m unattached

I’m alone

 

Stop eyeing my body

Stop judging my face

Can’t you see the aching inside

The sharp stabs of pain

The nausea

The desperation

 

I can’t do this alone

I can’t do this at all

You don’t understand

I can’t explain it

 

These cheery bright lights

The flashing of the season

My cheeks are too heavy to lift

My mouth is too numb to smile

 

I’m your child

I’m your baby

But to everyone else

I’m a grown woman

A sick grown woman

 

Help me get better

Help me meet your expectations

Because I’m confused

And I don’t know which way to go

Which way I should

Which way is better

The way that leads me

Closer to you 

Author's Note

Those close to me may have noticed that I haven't been too active lately, in fact, I haven't touched my laptop much in the past week or so. Which means I haven't written anything in quite some time.

Tell me what you think about this poem, I haven't said any of these words out loud, so I wrote them down.

Enjoy

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

It's depressing.

[Destinyxi]

agreed

[Hester Vane]

This is a beautiful piece. At first i thought it was about a romantic relationship or a fight with your inner self. But after reading all of it i see its about a realtionship with a parent, maybe? Its good to get the words out loud, and i hope you feel better for expressing them. Great poem.

[Destinyxi]

Yeah, its about a parent. Thanks for reviewing!

[That_Girl]

Not understanding what someone wants from you or how to appease them is incredibly frustrating. Nice poem Kels. Maybe saying them outloud is what's needed. I don't know.

[Destinyxi]

Thanks for your review hun

[gombeggar]

well...it's healthy always to express yerself, to get things out...sometimes to write it out is best...i can appreciate your expression here all raw and honest in its askings and confusions...fine crafting of words

[Destinyxi]

Thanks gom!

[gombeggar]

welcome, des ;)

[ShaunMosley]

At first after reading a review of this poem I thought you were venting about a boyfriend, but as I kept reading I got the impression it was for a parent. Whichever it is I feel your voice is very strong, and if you can get it on paper, dig deep to get the words to come out of your mouth. Often we as writers, express our truest feelings in written word because we don't always have to deal with the reaction they may cause in someone else. Your emotions are raw, and your position is clearly defined. I enjoyed reading this. If there is a suggestion I would make it would be to share this for whom it was written

[Destinyxi]

Righto it was written for a parent. thanks for your review :)

[Destinyxi]

wow long reply hahaha. Thank you. But it's about my mom, not dad :P

[ShaunMosley]

i think i was drinking when i wrote that:)
it was kinda long huh...i needed points

[Destinyxi]

ahahahaha I see :P no problemo. Must have gotten 10 points

[ShaunMosley]

6

[Destinyxi]

not bad not bad. Maybe I should drink and get myself some awesome points by posting words of wisdom :P

[ShaunMosley]

its crazy i think the length of the piece has something to do with it. I just reviewed a story and wrote like two lines and it gave me 8 points.

[Destinyxi]

yeah it depends how much the piece has been viewed and reviewed. if it's new, then you get more points

[ShaunMosley]

oh ok...have you written anything new lately?

[Destinyxi]

yessir, check my profile. my featured poem. it was written last night haha

[ShaunMosley]

sorry it gave me two more points for that:) thats sad right...

[Destinyxi]

haha why so hungry for points? trying to reach the 1500?

[ShaunMosley]

no i just thought that was funny

[Destinyxi]

lol, alright then :P

[ShaunMosley]

how old are you Destinyx

[Destinyxi]

says on my profile haha

[ShaunMosley]

im too lazy to move around and look geez

[ShaunMosley]

ok i finally did

[ShaunMosley]

20 yr old student

[Destinyxi]

Yessir :p

[ShaunMosley]

you are dangerously cute too:P

[kublakhan27]

You're not alone...

[Destinyxi]

I feel alone.

[Steven]

F**k him. No really, fuckim, getim outta your head.

Oh wait, you're a girl...

Marry him! Then he won't mean s**t!

Jesus, what's with the terrible humor? Here it is: glad you got these feelings out. Once on "paper" they're tangible, and that makes them manageable. You can sort it out and figure it out. I think few things cure this ill better for a girl than a f**k it night with some girlfriends out at a club. So, call some friends and get out! Flirt!

[Destinyxi]

Lol i dont think you understood what i was trying to say in this poem :p

[Steven]

huh? umm. Let me see..

Maybe I should have read past "Stop eyeing my body," instead of stopping there and commenting xD. Anyway--someone'll get it!

[Destinyxi]

Lol you should never stop in the middle of a poem and review it, the review wouldnt be valid o.o

[Steven]

You are so right... But, it would still be fun to read ;)

[John Stussy]

Well, I'm extremely nitpicky about ending two lines with the same word, so I'd suggest you do something with the first two lines of the poem, maybe switch one of the breaks to pause or something like that. It's such a peeve of mine that I normally stop reading the piece immediately when I come across stuff like that. But, seeing as I know you're a talented writer, I decided to grin and bear it and resume reading this one. I'm glad I did too, it was yet another brilliant piece. I love how you used the North Star as the metaphor for your subject in this one, that which sets your compass for you and grants you your direction. It made for a strong image throughout the piece. Hope you feel less lost soon lass. Amazing work as always. (See, I told ya I'd review right away for the next one!)

[Destinyxi]

haha, thanks for reviewing John. And nah I'm going to keep those two lines as is. Not touching this poem. I haven't been this honest in awhile. The repetition was done for a reason, a break is desperately needed. So I repeated it.

[John Stussy]

Alright, I'll forgive it since it's you and all. I'm glad you came up with some new work. Keep your chin up lass, everything works out in the end somehow.

[Destinyxi]

yeah...been really tough. havent been leaning on anyone but myself, and I havent been strong enough to support myself

[John Stussy]

Well, friends and family are meant to be there to lean on during those times you ain't strong enough lass. Use the supports that are there. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.

[Destinyxi]

thanks John :)