Shadow

Haven't written a poem this depressing in awhile haha..

Shadow

 

I can’t give you anything

If I have nothing

I try

I try so hard

I can’t fill you

When I’m so damn empty

 

What do you want

You want all of me

You’ll get nothing

I don’t have anything

I have nothing to offer you

 

I’m a living shadow

A walking shadow

I’m constantly behind

Trailing along

No one notices me

I’m way too familiar

Always one step behind

Just one step behind

Behind

 

What do you see

When you look at me

Through me

Do you see a glimpse

Of what I am

Who I am

Or am I just there

No where

 

I can’t complete you

When I’m incomplete

I can’t offer you anything

When I have nothing

 

And I’m begging you

To turn around

Keep me as your shadow

It’s so familiar

To you

And to me

Reviews

[de_maruf]

pretty confused

[Destinyxi]

confused about what?

[de_maruf]

why i confused i forgot
so i read it and now i got dissimilar start and ending thought

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You can't love someone else if you can't love yourself... A great poem, the emtions were xlear. I am thinking of the lyrics from an old Stabbing Westward song... "I can not save you, I can't even save myself."

[Destinyxi]

Haha this poem seems to remind a lot of people of songs.

Thank you very much, glad you liked it!

[Laia Ramirez]

I could be very wrong but it seems as if she is comfortable in the other person's shadow, as if that's what she wants to remain content. Anyways, I really like it. :)

[Destinyxi]

You probably got that idea from
'Keep me as your shadow
It’s so familiar
To you
And to me'

Being in the shadow is familiar, as said in those lines.

Thank you very much for your review!

[Laia Ramirez]

Haha my point seems obvious but what I meant was that she not only wants to remain HIS (or her) shadow, but a shadow for everyone. That's all she has. I'm sorry if I make no sense. :)

[Destinyxi]

no no you make sense haha. Or at least, I understand what you mean :P

[Bewitching Sensations]

brilliant poem....

Time to find yourself, and break out and be you :)

[Destinyxi]

Thank you very much!

[That_Girl]

"I can’t complete you
When I’m incomplete
I can’t offer you anything
When I have nothing" Although slightly different, these lines reminded me of lyrics to a song in which they say, "You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

We must be complete and content with ourselves before bringing someone else in or allowing someone to see our vulnerabilities. Your style is absolutely fantastic no matter what you write. I loved it. Well done!

[Destinyxi]

Thank you Avy! That part reminds me of a very similar quote my ex told me 'You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.'

[That_Girl]

He has a point. You have to heal your broken parts, it's life. :)

[Destinyxi]

mhm I know :P

[John Stussy]

Well it seems you're awesome at writing melancholy as well, thus proving your awesomeness as a writer. Though I disagree with you being a shadow, I could empathize with the poem's sentiment well. I only have one suggestion, I remember you said you didn't like to rhyme with the same word. Maybe with "I’m a living shadow / A walking shadow" you could replace the second shadow with wraith. I think the alliteration of walking wraith would make for a pretty smooth couplet. Even if you don't though, the poem flows well as it is. Great work!

[Destinyxi]

I actually wanted to emphasize the shadow part so I wrote it down twice in a row haha. Did that purposely :P

Thank you for the review John!

[John Stussy]

Alright, well, it works well! Don't thank me for reviewing, I take opportunities to make myself an opinionated arse. You just give good writing to read.

[Steven Cash]

Hmmm wow is all I can say

[Destinyxi]

I hope that's a good wow :P

[Steven Cash]

It is

[Destinyxi]

haha, thank you

[Steven Cash]

Ur welcome

[gombeggar]

so empty and wanting...well placed words...well done fer sure

[Destinyxi]

Thank you!

[That_Guy]

I don't believe this for a second. I feel like this would be a cool song

[Destinyxi]

You barely believe anything I say anyway :P Thanks for the review

[That_Guy]

you need to be more cocky, like me ;)

[Destinyxi]

haha I am cocky, I just know when to keep it on the down low and when to not :P

[That_Guy]

you must teach me lol

[Destinyxi]

I should ;)

[That_Guy]

someone needs to, I'm just running Rampant everywhere i go

[Destinyxi]

oh I just bet you are.

[That_Guy]

aside from my current headache...

[Destinyxi]

what heartache?

[That_Guy]

it's all your fault...

actually my HEADache is probably from my ego trying to spill out of my head.

[Destinyxi]

oh, s**t. AHAHAHA damnnn. shut up man. It's almost midnight here.

[That_Guy]

hahahaha

[Destinyxi]

woops? :P

[That_Guy]

it's ok I just see where your minds at when talking to me

[Destinyxi]

oh sure. theres that cockiness again. it never fails

[That_Guy]

I'll try to tone it back, try