Shadow

Haven't written a poem this depressing in awhile haha..

Shadow

 

I can’t give you anything

If I have nothing

I try

I try so hard

I can’t fill you

When I’m so damn empty

 

What do you want

You want all of me

You’ll get nothing

I don’t have anything

I have nothing to offer you

 

I’m a living shadow

A walking shadow

I’m constantly behind

Trailing along

No one notices me

I’m way too familiar

Always one step behind

Just one step behind

Behind

 

What do you see

When you look at me

Through me

Do you see a glimpse

Of what I am

Who I am

Or am I just there

No where

 

I can’t complete you

When I’m incomplete

I can’t offer you anything

When I have nothing

 

And I’m begging you

To turn around

Keep me as your shadow

It’s so familiar

To you

And to me

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Gosh, this is a masterpiece ! Such a superb use of anaphoras and oxymoron all over the poem, sometimes easy to recognize, others not so much, still these two figures of speech create such a great pathos !
The end is excellent, a metaphor that fits so well :)

[Kes]

I’m a living shadow
A walking shadow
I’m constantly behind
Trailing along
No one notices me
I’m way too familiar
Always one step behind
Just one step behind
Behind


You and me both...
Great work, you. :) x

[Soul Fire]

This is really good!

[Crazy Cat Man]

this is really good. im impress with ur use of metaphors

I can’t complete you
When I’m incomplete
I can’t offer you anything
When I have nothing

ugh. i have felt this way many times :) very good job

[Hester Vane]

Awww! Poingnat and beautiful!

[Matt Gandee]

Nice. A lot of people struggle to convey emotional depth when writing in a minimalistic style. You are not one of them. :)

[Destinyxi]

Haha. And for that, I am glad :P

[khalid]

very nicely written but really nobody has nothing..everyone has at least something others dont..

[Destinyxi]

Good point. Thanks for the review khalid. It's been awhile since I last heard from you :P

[axel]

yeah , but , the most important thing about sharing is just makig sure you are around,lol,nice poem

[Destinyxi]

thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. I like the use of shadows in the poem.
"Do you see a glimpse
Of what I am
Who I am"
I believe sometime we forget to register the good people in our life. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Destinyxi]

Thanks coyote!