Burning Bridges

I do NOT usually rhyme, bear with me >.<

Burning Bridges

 

Move on

I’ll move on too

Let me go

I’ll release you too

 

I’m all out of energy

My battery is running on empty

Efforts all wasted

New hurt created

 

Walk away

Leave my world grey

Cross the street

Leave me incomplete

 

We entwined and breathed

The same exact air

But now I long for freedom

Something we can’t share

 

And I waited

Would have rather been hated

At least then I would have known

And you would have shown

I wasn’t the one

And I would have gone

 

But time I did waste

Now I’m leaving in haste

Let me live while I’m young

Die when I’m old

No more being left in the cold

 

I’m chasing the sun

The heat

I’m nothing but done

New sheet

 

A whole new book to write in

I’m starting out fresh

I’m going places I’ve never been

Searching for different flesh

 

And I’m anywhere but here

Anywhere but near

The pain I cannot bear

From pain I must spare

 

I’ll see you when I’m older

When I’m stronger

When I can face facts

And put on an act

A fake smile just for you

A fake smile for two

 

I’m moving on

Release me

Must leave before dawn

Because I’m chasing the sun

The heat

Author's Note

What do you guys think? I don't usually rhyme my work..if you liked this poem, then should I write more poems that rhyme or stick to my usual style?

No format used, not all words rhyme :P I just rhymed randomly.

Reviews

[cevance]

Writing with rhyme encourages the writer to give more thought to what's put to page. If the verse flows towards the rhyme without appearing forced, and the verse conveys what the writer wants, then all is good. Rhyming can be difficult, but it can also be inspiring.

I enjoy reading your work. I look forward to more.

[Destinyxi]

Yeah, I definitely gave more thought to what I wrote down, kept changing it haha.

Thanks for reading :)

[axel]

nice poem, you did really good

[Destinyxi]

Thank you!

[Crazy Cat Man]

Awww i know why u wrote this. im extremely impress with this poem here. u convey your hurt emotions and also making sense of the situation that its the right time to move on. the rhymes are perfect. it doesnt seem forced. i hate force rhymed poetry. it looks so cheesy and u did this well.

i love the message of moving on. of course its sad when someone we like has moved on to the arms of someone else. it only hurts us to dwell. but also give a good opportunity for a new beginning. :) we cannot let our sadness blind ourselves for a new possibilty. to someone who is worthy of you love.

great poem

[Destinyxi]

Haha you're probably the only one on here who knows why I wrote this :P

I'm glad my rhymes don't seem forced, I was having such a tough time lol.

Thanks for reading and thanks again for your advice! :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

"What bridge to cross and what bridge to burn
Deceit is everywhere you turn
We weed out the weak and their weep"
- Shagrath

thats the singer from my favorite band LOL I love that quote from a song

[Caradoc]

Some times the best rhyme is random. At least that's how I view it, as I myself don't always stick to a single rhyme scheme. I like to vary it by the mood of the poem as I write it.

As for this, the subject matter is kind of iffy for me. I think I get where the narrator is coming from, but it smacks me as very selfish. Or rather messy. No one should be forced to remain in a relationship they want out of. I guess it's my own personal experiences and the people I've known that are coloring my lenses.

The rhyming is fine. The word choice isn't bad. Did you use short stanzas because that's what you usually do or because this is your first rhyming poem? The title is good, though as I said before, colored lenses. I wrote something sort of on the other side of the fence to this poem, and it makes me...angry. Not at you though, just at the thought of the situation.

Anyway, enough rambling. It isn't bad. You did well. Write a few more rhyming poems. Get a feel for the style. If you don't like, you can always return to more familiar waters.

-Caradoc

[Destinyxi]

I tend to write short stanzas/lines all the time haha. I just recently started using stanzas in my work too, I had some readers complain that my poems were confusing so I started using stanzas to break it down for them :)

Thank you for your review! Your very long..detailed review haha. They're always the best kind. :)

[Caradoc]

You're welcome. And I've written longer. Much, much longer. Lol.

[Destinyxi]

Have you? Hopefully it was a nice review then hahaha, or else I pity the person :P

[Caradoc]

I don't recall. It's usually a bit of both though. I try to help without being too anvilicious.

[Destinyxi]

that's the best way to go

[That_Guy]

i liked the rhymes, it made it flow well

[Destinyxi]

haha thanks :) glad you liked it!