Cheating Eyes

Cheating Eyes

 

Now I don’t know what you can handle

But I sure as hell

Know what I can handle

 

Your eyes

They cheat every minute

Every time a pair of

Young

Soft

Firm

Legs walk by you

You look

Take in

Devour

 

Now why don’t you tell me

How you expect to get yourself a girl

When all you do is eye

What isn’t yours

What you can’t have

 

Now tell me why you’re blinded

By the fact that

There’s a girl standing

Right in front of you

With a pair of legs

That you’ve never seen

A small, delicate face

That you can’t forget

A bright, white smile

That takes your breath away

 

Now why don’t you tell me

What in hell's name

You’re doing looking at what

You can’t have

And not trying to capture

What’s within your grasp

And leaning over you

Begging to be taken

Reviews

[Bewitching Sensations]

Looking is fine and natural, men cant help it.. But i agree had exs like that, when they leer and drool and then flirt openly....its disrespecting the woman they are with.. making her feel worthless and not cherished. I dont think they realize how much we get hurt and silently take it in behind the false smile.. i did mention it once to one of my exs.. His response was '
" ok i wont do it when i am in front of you, just do it when you are not around" :) thats men for you.. But i must say have been with some that look yes and glance but doesn,t drool and flirt... fantastic poem !!!!!!

[Destinyxi]

Thank you very much!

[Caradoc]

This made me smile in an, I'll admit, arrogant manner. I'll tell you why in a moment.

As a poem, this is well done and well thought out. You have a good grasp of how to format to drag the reader's eyes down the page. Each line is punctuated by feeling and truth. Your words are simple, the meaning clear and strong. Everything seems to be great in terms of spelling and grammar. I've often seen missteps in poems on this site, little spelling mistakes or odd bits of phrasing. Not here though.

Now, for the arrogant smile I mentioned.

You've only got one side of the story, one camera angle of the tale. You don't have a male's point of view. And there is not one hint of the reverse. I'll admit though, this could be about two girls. But for now I'll work from one assumption.

First things first. Why do we look? Because we can, because we not so secretly want what we don't have. We froth at the mouth for what we can't. When I say that I mean humans in general, not just one gender. We're all slaves to our lusts in one form or another. You could just as well ask yourself, why do you have to have more than five pairs of shoes, such an extensive wardrobe? Why all the possessions? Why can you not admire just one painting? Listen to one song over and over?

Simple. Boredom.

Make no mistake. Every human on the planet has cheating eyes. It's in our nature. Of course, as logical beings we have the ability to rise above. I won't burden you with my own personal life stories, likely you wouldn't believe them anyway.

So lastly, and partially because I'm the type of person who likes to antagonize, I want to rearrange something in the poem.

"Now tell me why you’re blinded
By the fact that
There’s a guy standing
Right in front of you
With a pair of shoulders
That you’ve never seen
A strong, handsome face
That you can’t forget
A wide, masculine smile
That takes your breath away"

"Now why don’t you tell me
What in hell's name
You’re doing looking at what
You can’t have
And not trying to capture
What’s within your grasp
And leaning over you
Begging to be taken"

Something to think about, no? Women aren't the only ones that long to be loved for who they are. Besides, I would rather love a person with cheating eyes than a cheating heart and body.

Great poem by the way.

-Caradoc

[Destinyxi]

That is by far the longest review I have ever had :P

I never once said that it is only men that cheat with their eyes, women do too. I'm just talking about an experience and in this case, a guy doing it. I don't write from a guys point of view, though I can, but I am a girl so I don't bother.

Thank you for the review! I'm actually starting to like long reviews thanks to you :P

[Caradoc]

Hahaha. Well, I'm glad I didn't come off to hostile, as that was not my intent. As you have a pet peeve about people trying to rewrite your poetry, which I also hate by the way, I have one about seeing things from only one point of view, especially as it relates to gender and relationships. My response is fueled only by this poem and the feelings it evoked. I cast no aspersions on you. We should not be condemned for how we craft our art.

As for gender point of view, I'm a guy and I have written a few things that are from a females point of view, mainly in stories. I seek to understand, to know.

As I said before, great poem.

[Bewitching Sensations]

i agree Caradoc with most of what you say.. but in my experience men that drool and cheat with their eyes and flirt usually have a cheating heart and body.. in my experience x

[Caradoc]

Sadly it goes both ways. The number of people who can look and flirt, but not cheat with body and/or heart, are few and far between. You have only to hear of broken hearts the world over to know the truth of that.

Good luck in the quest for a man whose heart cheats not. Be well.

-Caradoc

[Bewitching Sensations]

Thankyou Caradoc.. must be one out there somewhere :)

[C.]

I liked this (:

[Ian H Morrison]

hey this is good love it really well written the meters are strong and have built good stanzas really enjoyed it

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, again another a great write! I love this and I totally know what you're talking about. I have a few guy friends that are like that. I do have to admit I have a crush on one of them, I stand there wanting to be noticed but they just stare at another girl that's already taken. I just want to slap him or whistle to get his full attention. Why bother? If he really he wants me, he should show it. If he doesn't then so be it! That's his loss right? Think of your situation like that:) Wonderful job.

Ashley Rivers-- your friend ;)

[Destinyxi]

I know! You could do the same and see how they like it. I'm sure it'd bug the heck out of them but hey, revenge is sweet ;)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

To be honest, they might not actually care who I go out and date! They could really care less! Haha but it's worth a shot though. Yeah revenge's wonderful ;D

[Destinyxi]

Yeah it's definitely worth a shot. I know most of my guy friends get jealous when I talk about other guys, it's annoying because they talk about other girls all the time.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Yeah, I know! I do have one particular guy friend that really gets bothered when I mention a guy in front of him. It drives him insane. But me and him once had a chance in the past, he blew it and went after my best friend. He always flirts with me and tries to get us together, but nicely I say 'Look, boy you had your chance'. :)

[Destinyxi]

Haha you tell him girl, his loss is another mans gain :P It's just too bad that he missed out.
read moreHaha you tell him girl, his loss is another mans gain :P It's just too bad that he missed out.

Reminds me of this poem: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Destinyxi/986746/

I wrote it about a similar experience that happened to me :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Haha, I will :) and I'll check it out. :)

[Bewitching Sensations]

been there done that .. the same as they did to me to a bloke.. they go absolutely mad .. lol ;)

[Mazie Tackett]

wow

[Eloha]

I really like the concept or topic behind this, those roving eyes, those chasing men, and the women who must endure such lack of diplomacy?

Again, I find how you write about relationship appealing, in that, it uncovers gender differences and explores femininity. Which to me as a reader, is a continual and living fascination.

[Destinyxi]

Haha yeah, I'm quite the feminist as hopefully some of my readers have noticed. I think extremely highly of women :)

[Eloha]

Then I'd like to read more of your feministic literature.

[Bewitching Sensations]

Me too look forward to reading your writing x

[ewest1220]

Great atitude as always! Instead of sympathy (Which seems to be the usual voice for themes like this) you go for anger and hold the strength that is common in all your writing! Great job!

[ewest1220]

sorry not anger, attitude XP

[Chris]

laughing here... you a fine sense of the "ridiculous"!

...And yes the sitcom is an everyday thing quite for real - so few know what they "have" until they don't, and some not even then.

[Johnny Joe]

"begging to to be taken" I like your writing style