Numbness

For many years the words "I love you"

were words that were kept in silence,

this small room that we built is filled with curses

still haunts me 'till this day.

I always tried to tell you how I feel

but you always seemed to shut my words down

no matter how hard I've tried 

in your eyes I just never added up.

I questioned myself every day,

wondering why am I here?

ever since three years ago,

my wounds opened and bled because of your hate.

Sometimes I wonder if I failed you as a daughter.

If I could hold back the hate

would you take time to numb yourself,

so you can understand how I lived,

for many years I've tried to be perfect

but nothing I've ever done was good enough

if I could tell you I want to forget

would you take my regret,

I'm loosing sight of myself.

This darkness that overcast us

created a dysfunctional life,

would you ever take time

to analyze everything?

Sometimes I wonder how you remember things

because when I look back, your hate became mine

it's been a long lonely three years 

but ever since I left the hospital bed

my wounds never mended.

If I could hold back the hate

would you take time to numb yourself,

so you can understand how I lived,

for many years I've tried to be perfect

but nothing I've ever done was good enough

If I could tell you I want to forget

would you take my regret,

I'm loosing sight of myself.

Ever since

I felt like I don't have a place to call home

all I want is to run away and pretend everything is okay

but in my moments of silence my cry grows louder

and no matter how hard I try to forget

I can't bare to let it go,

please forgive me, but I can't forgive you for now.

If I could hold back the hate

would you take time to numb yourself,

so you can understand how I lived

for many years I've tried to be perfect

but nothing I ever done was good enough

If I could tell you I want to forget

would you take my regret,

I'm loosing sight of myself.

I've numb myself.

Reviews

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

A very thought provoking poem your pain and suffering oozes from this and instead of dwelling on the dissaproval you have created a beautiful poem I will be reading more of your work a great piece

[Mika =^-^=]

Thank you very much.

[apennylate]

*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

If I could take it back... I just do not know... Anything but numbing... But all I know is apathy... Blood is as thick as water... That is not thick... Who needs 'em...

[Chris]

Some nights ya just NEED and the sheer HURT from feeling turned away and another's angry just burns deep. Frustrations grow and your own anger turns toward yourself... and the WHYs just rush in - round and round. You gave a fair view of manys now.

[wordman]

a bad situation,it really hurts when you don`t feel love from your father or mother

[Mika =^-^=]

It is but is not much that...when I was pregnant 3 years ago all my family, for what i was able to feel, is that they hated my pregnancy because they don't agree with my relationship. And now my older sister, that was jealous of me then, she's pregnant and seeing my parents reaction about it and comparing it how they reacted when i told them it hurt. It was the total opposite of how they reacted with me. And to be honestly mother doesn't have the right to say much since her first child was at age 16 , I was pregnant at age 21...so I don't know how to feel much about the whole situation...I'm sorry I wrote a lot.

[wordman]

well it`s your life,they should support you

[Mika =^-^=]

I think they were going to start coming around...but I'm not so sure about that, and then I miscarried

[wordman]

sorry to hear that,you was probably stressed out

[Mika =^-^=]

that's what I'm thinking as well.

[wordman]

well i`m sure it didn`t help matters