Camille

Here I stand

looking up at the blue sky
thinking how you are doing,
wondering how life might be
with you here in my arms.

The blue sky,

slowly fades into gray

a sad smile creeps upon my face,
the thought of an angel 
looking down at me

the piercing pain devours me
my heart slowly begins to break.

Here I am
cradling myself
trying to protect my broken heart
the memories swallows me whole
I try to fight

but the pain send me down on my knees.

This pain,
feels like heavy stones
resting upon my chest
quietly I whisper everything be okay
I want to believe

but all I can think is cry out
what would of been your name.

Kissed you goodbye,
I wish I could have the chance

to hold you in my arms
now you are watching down on me
I tried not to lose myself,

and I cried already.

And I tried,

but the memory devours me
and I cried,
losing track of time,
kiss you goodbye
felt like heavy stones

resting upon my chest
and I cried,
I cried out your name
and I tried already

and I tried,
to mend my broken heart.

Author's Note

The name Camille is a name for both male and female. I miscarried my child in 2014 not knowing what gender my baby was, 'tis is why I chose to call this poem Camille.