This WAR

Sometimes, those friends that you really treasured are back stabbers.

I treat you so well.

And I thought this relationship is wonderful

But you make my life like hell

And everything you do  makes me cry like a fool

 

All these years

Everything we had is truth full of lies

I want everything to be clear

To see the truth in these lies

 

Since that day, that time you stab me in the back

For everything you’ve done

This bond won’t comeback

And this war between us has begun

 

Author's Note

Just as always... Ignore the grammar problems. I just want honest opinions. ^^,

Reviews

[joshua deathdealer]

I like it. It is like war...love. Well done.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Heartbreak depicted so well, very poetic :)

[zoeeyx]

Bravo. Short, touching, and straight to the point.
Keep writing.

[Jeremy Baker]

Very raw and depicting great hurt.

[Caleb Pendleton]

While the idea is good, a declaration of war between two former lovers, the poem itself unfortunately lost in poor tempo, lacking vocabulary, and generally trite use of the English language. I don't mean to be so harsh, but I also can't say I thought the poem was very good. Not any reason to dismay, it takes a lot of writing to come up with anything remotely good and I hope you can learn from this piece of work and continue to explore your creative ideas..

[Thea]

Love the picture and last stanza! :)