The Creator

You were my destiny..

 

 

 

I don't understand

How we got here,

Where we are going

 

Everything

       pushes

towards one direction

 

and it's all backwards now

I hear the words

before

you spit them out,

before

    they steal

the breath right out

    of my body

 "I love you, babe, God, I love you so much.."

    Those whispers, fade away, into the darkness...

And I'm swallowed whole.

 

  "You're a monster....You're just like your Mother"

God?

 

Oh God!

 

Have you forsaken me?

Can I just,

curl up,

here

in the dust

Maybe if I lie,

wallow,

disintigrate

long enough

 

...I'll dissappear.

Finally.

 

  "I Hate You..."

Those words,

pouring

out of your mouth

 

Obliterating

 

Ev.ery.thing

 

I thought that we had.

 

(would have?)

...used to have.

I've destroyed us.

As easily, as I've destroyed the rest.

 

And now

I'm standing

in that place,

Our Place.

 

That place

of dreams,

watching,

watching,

watching

as it crumbles

     and shatters,

as my hands hold

      the one thing I

could cling to,

Watch as it

             slips

through trembling fingers,

Your face a mirror,

                   a mask,

             of the ugliness

 

I created.

Author's Note

....the art of anguish.

Reviews

[Exsanguination]

F****n' RAW

[Moonflower]

Hah! thanks mannn

[Melody Telleria]

Oh gosh, such a deja vu piece. When we self destruct in the process of destruction of whats important all around us. Great set up and wonderful talent with the punch of emotions.

[Moonflower]

Thank you for the compliments!

[Rouillie Wilkerson]

I'd like to critique this but I don't feel very qualified as I have this personal aversion to ego driven martyrdom. Please don't be offended by this. I just don't like mush. But I will say that you have a handle on an effective use of form. I haven't quite got the art of formatting a poem yet to this degree.

[Moonflower]

Thank you for reading and commenting, always feel free to give any input you might have, no matter your experience :)

[ShaneBerry]

very nice. original and i love the way that you spaced the words and the use of semi colons to show that there is more in the thought of the writers mind.
now, i will say there was one misspell.
"they steal
the breath right out
of my body"
i think you meant to put,
"they steal
they breath right out
of my body"
besides that it was a joy to read and i got to say the title made me go "oh great, not another religious piece..." but you took the root meaning of the term 'Creator' and applied it to a relationship. very very unique. this was a privilege to read. thank you for sharing!
-S.B.-

[Moonflower]

I'm sorry to have taken a year to respond to your review! Thank you so much for reading my work

[Coyote Poetry]

A emotional ride in this poem. A lot of emotion and lessons were learn in the words. Funny how words can change what we speak to each other with time and life together. Thank you for sharing the amazing poem.
Coyote

[Moonflower]

As always..thanks :)