Thursdays and Orange paint

 

 

 

If everything

was as easy as

the chords you play

Your voice a prayer

Beauty and Pain

Oh what a lovely thing

to see

On a night like this

Quiet and stained

by the words we say

By the judgements we make

 

I saw your face

on the other side of the street

And you were'nt looking at me

Just watching the ground

underneath

of your feet

 

And the sun made your skin

so white and frail

Like some ghost on some long

forgotten trail

Like a boat with bleached

white sails

Did you exhale

only to see

me standing on the other side

of the street

My eyes traveling to some

far off scene

 

Just searching for something

I could recognize

Cause your face was a mirror

that I couldn't hide behind

 

Author's Note

feels...unfinished

Reviews

[Rikkevi Rue]

hauntingly beautiful. draws me in and so captivates!

I would agree with you that it feels unfinished. Perhaps the last stanza reflects back to the first stanza...what could you recognize? What in yourself DID it mirror? What wasn't as easy as the chords he/she played? and what is the beauty and the pain?

But all that aside, this piece creates a mystique, an emotion that pangs of a yearning for involvement but exudes the relief of disentanglement. Beautifully counter-pointed which is a feature of your writing that I especially admire. None of this sugary saccharin falsity of the inexperienced, it has the bite or real life where ones goals and dreams are offset by obstacles and hopes are challenged by insecurities and trepidations! You bring a freshness to the scene though your subjects are familiar and mainstream.

Make the effort to complete the piece to YOUR satisfaction. There is likely some kernel of quality expression that has yet to reveal itself to you...