Stagnet

When you lose, you lose

I tried to hold your hand, but you wouldn't let me
  Oh no, you couldn't let me

But the way you smiled, oh so sweetly
  It let me know how you were feeling
And your eyes were like frosted glass
  Misted over, so
I couldn't see what passed
    behind the windows
Yeah I guess my memory is a bit hazy
    ...these days
Maybe its just...everything
Just every thing
Weighing in,
  weighing
            Me
                   d
                     o
                       w
                          n

They told me it was only a matter of time,
I'd realize...
       
I'm never getting out of this town.

And I woke up with a bottle of regret,
tipped it over just trying to get out of bed
And it all spilled out like hourglass sand
What am I supposed to do?
 I don't know, but life seems cruel..today it seems
   so cruel
It all seems like a big joke, and the jokes on me
..yeah...the jokes on me

So I smoke another cigarette
  and the nicotine
it clouds my brain
and sends me reeling, I'm staring
at my hands
  remembering
where they have been
and tears are just
  another excuse to
get back into bed
crawl back into nightmares and the
choking sent of weed
crawl back into a coma
So I don't have to breathe

on my own..

Author's Note

Have you ever walked a road thats paved in circles?

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

This is so vivid and powerful, it's one of the most raw "depression" poems I've read for a while. "And I woke up with a bottle of regret, tipped it over just trying to get out of bed, and it all spilled out like hourglass sand" is a particularly stark, but very original and beautiful, way of expressing this feeling. I like how the poem has three sections, beginning with the introduction, which is the thought that spurs the feeling, verse two is descriptive, and the third verse describes consequence. A great metaphor. Really inventively and effectively structured. Great writing!

[Rikkevi Rue]

"down down down the dark ladder" joni mitchell

ahh yes, so nicely depressing! Wonderful if it is a pure creation and sad if it depicts an internalized affair...

some lines of this are deep:

"And I woke up with a bottle of regret,
tipped it over just trying to get out of bed
And it all spilled out like hourglass sand"

i feel that is has a greater potentiality than is realized...

[Kyle]

This is incredibly vivid and so very sad. I hope it isnt true in your particular case.

[Sweets]

I can 100% relate to this.
This is so heatfelt and touching and written straight from the heart.
I loved this. Great work!
Adding it to my favorites :)
It just describes what I'm nearly going through right now!
Nicely written !

[jayfray]

I have walked a road paved in circles! and I really enjoyed the depth of this poem. I think everyone has felt weighed down and stagnant every now and then. Brilliant work

[Marie Harrison]

Sounds like depression to me. That's all I could think of as I read this piece. I've been there and that's what it felt like to me.

[Bard Constantine]

Everything moves in circles. The universe is made that way. The secret is learning to leap from one circle to the next...

Terrific writing, by the way. You are an expert on creative verse to evoke emotion...

[OT]

oh yes we've all walked the penrose stairs - round and round we go - bottled regret tipping and spilling everywhere! this is a bittersweet poem - the sadness - the crawling back into the coma to not be alone!! very nice!

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Brilliant~ lovely descriptions. Beautiful job~

[al25]

I really like the frosted eye line. Its so hard to explain that feeling when you dont know how someone feels about something and you managed to do it.
Great job.