Icicles and Bruises

 

 

I cant do this, I feel like we're crazy

I can't do this, It makes me so crazy

And am I the only one, who hears the solemn

beat of a drum, and thinks of your heart beat

 

Yeah all the leaves fell from the trees but

We couldn't know, the way we pushed against the breeze

Oh we couldn't know, that it might be time to let go

Oh Baby, just let time flow, around your fingertips like

The murals you paint

In black and grey

What are these days, but darkness and frosted haze

 

I guess I didn't look at you the way

That I used to, Didn't grasp your hands as

Delicately, Didn't hold your body, weakly

But I swear,

Its just the weather, Darling,

Only the weather...

 

And seasons pass just as fast

As those winding Appalachian springs,

So in the meantime

We'll bask in the dim light and the

frozen tenderness this winter brings

 

So you wrap your calloused fingers around

that wounded heart of mine

Have we ever been...Out of touch?

I think not, you said, but I saw

You didn't smile, very much

 

And though the wrinkles formed around

the corners,

As our teardrops fell down with the snow

I wondered why we were even born

I wondered of the substance of our lives

Somehow I found myself persuaded that

It really didn't matter anymore

 

Oh and you found comfort in that heavy, Ohio rain

I saw you dancing in my dreams, you had forgotten my name

    Oh how could I ever know such pain?

This was only part of the puzzle, No

This was all part of a scheme

Everyone is coming to get me

All of their faces are green...(screams)

Author's Note

another song, finished, actually :)

Reviews

[Lizy Coale]

oh myy, this was amazing (: i wish i could hear the music with it!
and i wish that this had a 'like' button.
i dont have any constructive critisism, sorry :/ loll

[sushi]

Its beautiful...

[Sweets]

This is amazing!
It would make a wonderful song!
Great ending! :D
and great work!

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

your imagery is a graceful curve of languid spires of smoke undulating on the breeze of deeply moved emotives~

[Moflo]

This is very nice. I really like the emotion coming off the page and your imagery is excellent. I was really into your wording too. Great poem.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

As I read this I thought... this has to be a song. Glad I was right on that one. But how emotively galvanizing of a song... filled with so much raw feeling. A gut punch through bone and marrow. Your heavy heart creates masterpieces.

[Rikkevi Rue]

well as i read i thought, "this should be a song" then I saw your note, so it passes THAT test. I like that it doesn't rhyme too much, but just when it starts to feel like or sound like a dialog, you start rhyming and it is apparent again that it is a poem...but the overall feel is accentuated by the seesawing back and forth of those two elements...interesting!

I like stanza number five the best. it seems to summate the feel of the whole piece. I'd love to hear the melody!

[Ruth]

This seems to me, as though it would be amazing set to an avant garde landscape! lol Beautifully surreal and powerful, vividness here is exhilarating! There is a real pain here that is tangible xx

[Undying Glory]

alright! this would be such a great song, so vivid and picturesque. with music it can only get better! this was very impressive work, just loved this!
just a question though. for that last verse, is there a scream at the end or is that verse screamed? it felt a bit ambiguous to me...
"And though the wrinkles formed around
the corners,
As our teardrops fell down with the snow
I wondered why we were even born
I wondered of the substance of our lives
Somehow I found myself persuaded that
It really didn't matter anymore"
but that's a darn powerful stanza. epic work!!

[A.A.Romanczuk]

:) I can see this set to music...it has that something...