Symptomatic Preoccupations

 

 

Those words struck my heart,

A deep primal fear emerging from that

hidden chamber, the chains rattling

As my spirit shuddered, crying out in anguish

And I saw the faces of those

around me, the ones I loved, the ones that

I couldn't understand

Pain racked my breast, the realizations

thundering deep into my core

The utter horror of my own

delusion, my own obsessions and lies

those eager suggestions, images, locked

in my mind

Some one told me that We

are all drenched in

Sin

Impervious to the Truth

The goodness

Maybe we have infected

this world

with our own small intentions

Those thoughtless mistakes, inconveniences

Was I always your inconvenience?

Was I the dirt under your nails?

The way he bled

 Prophetic dreams of thorns and needles

Light and Mercy

 

What will we find at the end of our dusty trail,

An open sea, a little boat, so we might sail?

 

The sky is always bluer on the other side

Reviews

[smalltownsympathies]

I hate read requests. Unless someone personally asks me ahead of time, I feel as though it's a bit...rude. But it's ok because I like you :)
Anyways, this is quite lyrical, but starts to be so towards the end. I am a fan of your work and find it very interesting to read, it has a strong voice leading it, but I feel as though it needs a tad bit of editing. Keep working, you've got fantastic talent :)

[Brianna Brie]

This poem is so full of emotion. I like what JadedSparrow had to say. It leaves me feeling vulnerable as well. Great write!

[Miss Coral]

Love this- really powerful, and your capitalization works wonders for the flow... great piece.

-Coral-

[Stacey]

The grass is always greener...this is a very thought provoking write! I like how you've made statements, then asked questions and come to some conclusions. The only question that lingers for me is...what were "those words"that struck your heart?

[JadedSparrow]

The simplistic beauty of your words is leaves me in a very vulnerable place. These thoughts are much like ones Ive had and just couldnt figure out how to express them. You are very talented. Dont ever stop writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

I study many religions in my life. I believe in karma and kindness. A person who done bad things will be repair with the equal pain. Good things and deeds will be rewarded by good friends and a good life. I like your poem. You brought up many good questions. I like the ending. Life is to be lived with hope and love. A outstanding poem. You made me think.
Coyote

[Hippy]

i agree with the person below on editing it the first time i read it through but second time not so much i looked at where you were coming from and the emotion in this peice and how the way it would be said like it was typed with the pause from line to line adds more to the impact of it, i felt great distress in this possibly a panic attack if not you pulled it off good bravo

[.quan.011.]

This a beautiful peom

[Pax Analog]

Wow. Underlying this confessional grit is a sense of flashing on Spirit always ready to be accepted cleanly, an antidote to egoic-acculturated entrapment, and not a politicized simulacrum but the real deal -- and yet history continues its nightmare ways! echoing Joyce, echoing your poem's wrenching sense of self and environs.

The sky is always bluer on all "sides" when we experience the dissolution of the siege of mere self and other, duality, in favor of a seamless space informing all beings transcendently. Hence, your glancing reference "The way he bled/Prophetic dreams of thorns and needles/Light and Mercy"

If we view sin as missing the mark instead of a stain, we discern we have the cognitive-affective option to identify w/the inner vastness of contemplation rather than the tormented karmic entity -- Ground over figure. This way we can also improve the dualistic game because we've re-aligned. "God" is a word for the mystery of Existence Itself. All arguments are fatuous and beside the point.

Life informs us w/the full force of a priori Being when we are no longer impressed by the rise and fall of illusoriness.

[Marie Harrison]

Very moving poem. I loved the ending.

[Sasha]

ridiculously deep words.
Awesome word choice.
Brilliant job.
(: