Underestimated

 

 

Will I ever stop asking questions, spewing nonsense

and regurgitations of thought, bleak incoherence

Come into the darkness, this hole where I reside

The eager biting tongue of lonliness, where even

whispers sound like screams

Follow me into the unexplored, the yet unatoned

Your heart is a serpent, squeezing my lungs with

charcoal smeared perspiration

I'm leaning with that billowing architecture

the kind that only resides here, among

the filth...this hole is becoming

in.esc.ape.able.

 

Drugs shall be my deliverance, a calming

repertoire of opiates and lithium

 

Hold your tongue and count to ten

 

We're all winners here.

Author's Note

...don't fuck with me.

Reviews

[aloha.]

amazing.

i love the first line: "will i ever stop asking questions?"

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

oh this one has sharp teeth~ and sharper~ well honed claws that deliver with precision~exceptional!~love it!~

[India Brooks]

Brilliant. 100 from me!

[Jonathan De Elvira]

I sure missed reading your stuff...
This one is great.

[Ed Hart]

states of mind are not inescapable, but you do have to be willing to hurt for the right reasons...is that f*****g with you

[JelliFyshKissUs]

The moment you stop asking questions, you're dead. This sounds like pangs of distress, billowing as howling whispers within the hollow womb of the disgruntled and miserable. I love the line "Hold your tongue and count to ten." It deserves a stanza of its own accord. It just screams, "Don't judge me." And how could I? I don't know what has gotten you to this place, what in life made you turn to the numbing agents you describe in this poem. We all have our demons.

[Bard Constantine]

Interestingly, the format appears like a tornado... just as the words are a whirlwind of anger and destruction, inflicted from outside and within. It's true: in the lottery of depression everyone is a winner, though the reward is often not worth the price of entry. A mesmerizing write, as expected...

[Bubo]

Written very well, that we enter this darkness with you.......this madness and anger, that we have all sensed without the drugs........very dark, and great use of words.

[Buddhistboy73]

Wow...a deep write. It took me a few reads to like this, but the more I read it the more i did connect with the darkness..."The eager biting tongue....whispers sound like screams"...amazing line, and something that I can relate to at times. Also, I don't know if you intended it, but I love the symmetry of the layout - it almost looks like the face of a wildcat. Great write...intriguing final line too...:)

[Robin]

cornered instincts draped in the darkness of salvation