Last chance mistakes

 

 

 

We sat in the rain

mouths open, laughing out

into the storm

white knuckles gripping

bottle necks and feared

suggestions

 

The stars, immovable

above our weary faces

we turned them up into

the air

letting the droplets

smack against our skin

 

I held my hands out

that liquid pouring down

like the mistakes I was making

one by one

 

Your crystalline eyes

twinkled

some instinctual beckoning

wriggling itself

into my black heart

 

You tore my weakness

around the edges, lieing

cold fingers on

soaking clothes and

puckered lips

 

I tasted emptiness, pure

and unfathomable

a million sensations exploding

 

...imploding...

 

I didn't know if

I was breathless

then

just a head full of hair

and confusion

I danced around

the doorway

for only your eyes to

ever know these memories

Blinking back the water

dripping from our eyelashes

 

Did you let this go

when you

turned

in your

white beast

burning fuel down

vacant

streets and highways

and changing

my life

forever

Author's Note

Mistakes are always bittersweet.

Reviews

[alan peter kelly]

a black heart does not exist in someone who can write like this...darkened...overshadowed...in eclipse perhaps but never black...we cannot hope to succeed until we first learn how to fail...for it is the pain of our mistakes that scar or calcify as foundations for as ultimate a growth as we can ever hope in one lifetime...if we survive the beasts...then we become kings and queens...as always...enjoyed your skill...

[.]

this is a well expressed piece of life reflective timeless reflection- but
where such things are those simple birth is ever attained through wisdom -

great poem !

[Charles]

They are especially so when we learn from them. Wether to trust again is an answer that may haunt the soul. Good stuff, as usual.

[Nobody.]

oh wow.this is very good. the emotions and thoughts intertwining throughout give a real sense of the situation. mistakes are the bulk of what life is.
great write.

[A.A.Romanczuk]

so dark..so raw...so honest...mistakes are bittersweet...but Your heart cannot be all that black to have felt this so deeply...phenomenal poem

[Rikkevi Rue]

the best work is so real to us that we are there, and experience what the writer experienced, feel what he or she felt- first, before we think of our own experiences that are similar. When I read your little precious gem here first i am there, and it is MY experience...then I realize it is actually yours and it is so genuinely and sincerely voiced, and so seamlessly crafted you have drawn me effortlessly into your world...unlike the others i believe your heart was black at that moment before love or whatever emotion invaded it, for is not a life or heart without love black like the darkness of night...

[M.Kilani]

Suddenly felt like quoting Savatage's song "No regrets, if you just forget, If a memory is lenient, you can find it most convenient, so you let it fade, till it's very vague, jst a silhouette of shadows, but the shadows are still lingering"
true the sweetest mistakes can be bitter, although we think things are perfect just until we comment that mistake, either by a word or a deed, and we wish to stop time at that very moment to avoid results.
great piece, very touching ... well done dear

[Love-shadowed Silhouett..]

Whoa. Geez I don't know what I can say about this... looks like all the past comments have summed up what I'd say, so i guess all I can say to this is, it totally pwns life. It sounds immature but seriously, it's just insanely amazing I can't find the right words to explain it... LOVED IT. :O
Excellent job!

[TAO]

Yes they are. This is a well crafted piece of reflection, Ms. Your words are the mirror to all our souls, I think.

[Khitii Lae-Ahn]

not blackened at all...to feel such emotion...such pain...one must have a heart that glows with the radiant knowledge of love...
mistakes must be made...for each is a stepping stone to one's future
this is a beautiful display of tangled heartstrings...
i truly enjoy your work dear

[Crowley]

Live and learn...mistakes are the brick and mortar of character and identity I think. And many times....with time and emotion under our belt and out of our way, what seemed like a mistake then was truly just the way things needed to happen, no mistake at all. This was beautifully written with consideration and a bit of punch. Nice work.