Paint chips and Velvet lips

 

 

 

Paint hides imperfections,
as she smooths on velvet lips
She smiles at the mirror,
and falters at its chips

Her face forever painted,
in a smiling lovely grin.
Her soul forever drowning,
in a heavy, dark chagrin

Who can know this goddess
heart song
Who might hear her

silent cries
When each night she dances
as the moon bathes sordid skies

 

 

Author's Note

This is an older piece, based on the life of a Geisha, I'm working on editing it...I think it has potential and could be a mind blowing poem.

Reviews

[Bubo]

Perfect descriptions of a life of a Geisha capturing the deeply sad life lacking love and emotion............their beauty but a mask.......great flow, and thoughts.

[Bard Constantine]

This resonates so strongly as it is... I think the poetic picture you've painted is a masterpiece; it conjures vivid imagery so that I could see this depressed soul with her painted smile and the sadness in her eyes...

[Jenna]

Like everyone else has said...it's already mindblowing! The title is extremely original, and the third stanza just drives this piece home. I knew you were talking about a Geisha without you so mentioning it directly, which is always a sign that the author can spin words well.

[Amber Betty Marie Child..]

ahh i see man painted faces of model like primped up girls and sad deep eyes

[Havatara]

It already is a mind-blowing poem. I don't think you need to change anything. Like the other poem of yours I read, it has a nice balance and it was easy to read. Well done.

[alan khan]

amazing stuff. if you feel it can get better i look forward to seeing where this goes. awesome work.

[Lovely Lady]

It already is mind blowing.... and so are you! Love it... just the way it is!

~lovely

[Robin]

this will be a masterpiece ~

[OutsideSyntax]

This is some truly amazing writing... It's writen with a skill level that gives one something to aspire towards.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Beautifuly written piece....good job. :]